I think this needs to replace the story in the original post because OMG that is amazing. Also, don't know if you've just perfected that story from telling it a million times, but that was well told.

Breaking up can't even be enough in a situation like this. Did you sue for emotional damages??

I may know where Shitlington Crags are. At a local climbing spot my buddy lost it above and to the left of me. No going down for him, and following would have been shitty. I managed to aid right and bypass the shit crag.

It's good to have thoughts.

I don't know...I'm more impressed with Cowboy Hat. If only everyone responded to douchebags with a hearty "You're not doing that shit, motherfucker."

Wait a second. Why when the guy gets up in pink-shirts face the first time are there like 4 TSA agents just standing around watching ?

My love for Paul Rudd is such that I am just going to report this as truth.

I like that AMD Studios insisted on having their logo at top left. "Sorry guys, if we're going to make you an amazing ad for the low, low price of your entire savings and dignity, viewers must be in no doubt as to who created the masterpiece in question. That's a dealbreaker."

This is amazing. Though it all seems a bit ominous and foreboding, like it's a front and Liam Neeson is going to pop up and start kicking their international slave-trading asses. Maybe it's just all the pantyhose and illusion colorblocking... You can't trust that.

That dog is rebellious as shit!

I cannot believe you would just go on the internet and tell lies! (Who would do that?) I demand that you purchase 23 tropical fish immediately and post photos of them here. It is the only way that you will ever make it up to us and I also hear it is a good way to meet people.

I would be remiss if I did not point out how amazing this guy is for being such a good wingman for his fish. You don't want to date him? Fine. He's got 23 fish to introduce to you. They are tropical as fuck and ready to mingle. No hard feelings.

One Tropical-as-Fuck Fish

I get that she's on shows and in movies. I just don't get how.

No. I don't understand Amanda Seyfried. Why is she famous?

I thought about this. However, devil's advocate, I will say that it's probably difficult to say no to the President of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences when you work in television.

Gal is 5' 9'' so the heeled boots put her around Cavill's 6' 1''

"[Firth] has a briefly seen, occasionally mentioned fiancée named Olivia (Catherine McCormack), who is a fellow skeptic and an intellectual peer, meaning that she has no chance with him."

If you don' fucking like the a/c set at 75 fucking degrees, then fucking stay out of my fucking house. You fucking don't get to fucking tell me how to fucking set the fucking air conditiong. Did you fucking get that? And why have a lawn anyways? Lawns are fucking facist. Take out the lawn and put down all gravel…

HOAs are literally the worst, but an uptight city ordinance regarding grass is a close second. Xeriscaping should be the standard, not universal grass lawns.