I hope this ends the

Is the bear spa full of piss and shit and all sorts of bacteria that could render me dead? Almost certainly.

full of piss and shit and all sorts of bacteria that could render me dead? Almost certainly. However:

They triple filter it to get Coors Light.

Well, of course they fucked up covering the violations. The school isn’t called Southern Hit.

So the old, “There’s a breaking story in my pants,” line doesn’t work anymore. Noted.

it was clear you were a bulls fan from the statement “playing the most efficient ball of his career, save the MVP campaign”

Yeah, but also, no. If you want to get nerdy, his advanced stats say this is his worst year, save one of the years his body malfunctioned.

That’s what happens when you try to fnagel your way into someone’s pants

same thing as

“IT’S WHEN YOU SHIT ON A HOOKER WITH A MIDWESTERN ACCENT. Goddammit, Steve, sometimes you are dumber than a sack of hammers.”

Not to be confused with my Chinese bathroom remodeling company “Caulk Asians”

St. Louis has officially changed their mascot to the Caucasians, or “Caucs” for short.

If you’re the kind of jerkass who is constantly looking for reasons to slag women’s college basketball, you could point to UConn’s wire-to-wire dominance as a sign that the sport is stale and boring.

This was not an unwritten rule though. They didn't have a rule in years past and now they do. People are now complaining about a clear rule.

Thinthinatti.

“Unclear if that total included this girl, who has an awful lot of blood on her hand.”

For real. Edmonton deserve to see decent hockey at least once a year!

The very act of getting a DUI is “making a fool out of yourself”. Let’s not hand out bonus points because she acted calmly about it.

I thought she could handle her liquor