Jordan Spieth will no longer close his eyes when Puig is at the plate.

“I want to show American baseball that I’m not disrespecting the game. But watch out on the road, pendejos, ‘cuz I’m still driving like an asshole!”

Did he li-li-li-li-lick her from her head to her toes?

Only 21 year old virgins would do that.

Reading between the lines, he was a 21 year old virgin.

Is the kid a Rich Girl now? Maybe a Maneater?

I think I care about this as much as the Skipper, Little Buddy.

[To his wife] "What are you flipping out about?"

The taco was reportedly fine.

If someone is paying $3,000 per seat to watch the Diamondbacks, they should be beaten with a bag of dicks.

The increased intracranial pressure from his rapidly shrinking head is clearly affecting Bonds cognitive processes.

Yet they were 10th and 7th in regulation wins 2011 and 2013, years they won the Cup. The top of the west (and the wildcard point total) was just stronger this year.

The "Ocho"!

Katie's hot take is just about as bad as the click-piece she is "devastating".

It does seem like Tiger winning again at the Masters is becoming Mission: Impossible.

Not in the '13 Stanley Cup.

I feel bad for this kid. Fuck Lucic and the Bruins.

With all that padding it doesn't even show. I should have worn goalie pants in high school.

Gawd, someboday gyet that fawkin' goy off the oyce!

It was on one of the Starz channels last night so I watched a few minutes. Hadn't seen it in forever. So long, in fact, it felt like I had only seen it once. Once.