I just have retro-dreams of this 1979 Thunderbird Ranchero

Seems like this “shadow banking crisis” has been a Mahindrance to auto sales in India.

Beto, for the rest of your likely-failed campaign for President, just be the guy who says what we’re all thinking because that will win a lot of people over. Then drop and run for Senate again. Please. I beg you as a fellow Texan.

I’d also recommend not letting her daughter work for the same local newspaper where her boyfriend works as a photographer who always forgets to lock the door when he is developing film. Sexist, spineless jerks are looming everywhere.

Jelly that no one wants to steal my glorified camry? I sure do love finding my car exactly where I left it every day... The service drive...

Definitely avoid mall restaurants, especially ones serving ice cream. Not only does she risk serving bratty tweens all day and having a jerky teen coworker who is constantly hitting on customers, there’s a major risk of ending up in a subterranean tunnel being chased by Russians with submachine guns.

“Alright, gonna grab that nice shiny BMW over there...”

Volvo S60 Polestar, please.

The license plate said fresh and it had dice on the wheels.

Closest example that comes to mind, and of course it’s not really comparable at all, is the boost to Hallelujah from being featured in Shrek.

The Stampeders are fine, but I like turtles.

Parents dragged a car behind their motor home for probably 75,000 miles. Car is still going at 175000 with no major or out of schedule repairs. 

See, his problem was that he didn’t know Amontillado from sherry.

But what the hell is wrong with parents today that think this is acceptable?

Because shut up, Kyle.

Sounds like the new Improbable Burger has been invented!

These particular public lands were wrecked 80 years ago when some bozos carved up a mountain.

“Do you want me to come down fast or slow?”

Said it before, will say it again: it’s not politics, it’s morality. If the greatest controversy around Donald Trump were, say, his position on revising the tax code, or even something as volatile as abortion rights, then fine, the PGA could say “whoa, we stay out of politics.” But it’s so much worse than that. It’s…