It’s funny you think his deeper psychological motivations are terribly relevant. What’s wrong about judging people by their actions? One of his actions clearly on display here is a marked failure to defend his girlfriend against his racist friends. Maybe that doesn’t quite make him a racist himself, but it certainly…

I think that distinction between “alone” and “lonly” is so important. It’s the difference between “travelling” and “being homeless”.

I also like quite a bit of solitude - I get antsy when I don’t get my fill - but I’ve learned that I’m in danger of missing the point when it gets miserable and damaging. So I try to…

I think the most well known examples would be To Kill a Mockingbird and Atonement.

Well, love is a battlefield, all is fair in love and war, and the Latin root of passion is suffering. Or, as my man Larkin puts it:

The difficult part of love
is being selfish enough
Is having the blind persistence
to uproot an existence
Just for your own sake.
What cheek it must take!

And yet, the unselfish side...
How can…

I think the most well known examples would be “To Kill a Mockingbird” and “Atonement”.

Thanks!

The usual twist with that kind of thing seems to be that she _was_ raped, but not by the guy first blamed. Someone please spoil me and tell me if I’m right.

Finger’s crossed!

To be fair, the letter writer wrote that the colleague who had already complained about the shift supervisor the year before was a woman. Doesn’t necessarily mean that sexism couldn’t possibly be the issue - internalized misogyny, etc - but does make it a bit less likely.

My sad experience is that obnoxiousness often wins. Of course these people themselves would probably call it something else - self confidence, assertiveness, determination, whatever. They think they win because people are just so damn impressed by their daring and charisma.

Totally with you on the whole “patriarchy is ruining this for all of us”-angle.

Look at that, someone is wrong on the internet.

Or maybe it’s because “one party lurches violently to the right and becomes made up of fundamentalists and extremists”.

I’m from another country, but conservativsm isn’t a stricly American phenomenon, so I think I can extrapolate a bit from my own experiences: You don’t have to be terribly left-leaning to see Trump…

But is the rejection really constant though?

God, I should hope not. I’m really the wrong person to ask, I don’t have much experience - just enough to feel that I’m not missing out terribly. But not enough to draw any statistical conclusions. My point was merely that _any_ sort of attention isn’t necessarily preferable to zero attention after all, even to…

They might have the best insights into their actions (or not; people do a lot of things for more than one reason, many of them on a subconscious level, and can lack self awareness to stunning degrees), but that will only tell you something about them, nothing about you. So why would you need to know?

Personally, I…

Okay, that was a bit needlessly snippy. I had just supressed a kneejerk impulse to complain about the insufficiently inclusive language (so what if it’s directed at hetero guys - and lesbians, I guess - not everything has to be about me), only to find you praise that very aspect. You kinda caught me on the wrong foot.

B…

I’m not surprised that the comments are skewing male, because this article absolutely isn’t phrased in a gender neutral manner. “There will always be women who don’t want to date you...” - It’s in the second sentence! You didn’t even notice. Kinda says something, doesn’t it?

Honestly, I wouldn’t expect anyone to improve after I reject them. They’re probably good enough already. Love is not a meritocracy. I don’t reject someone for “not being good enough for me”, I reject someone for being incompatible. They might be perfect for someone else. No reason at all why they should change just…

Team malevolent ghost rats!