This guy didn't succeed in killing people by being stronger and bigger, but by acquiring a gun and firing without warning on unsuspecting strangers. You don't need to be big or strong for that, you just need to lack any shred of self-awareness and empathy. Empathy is not something that comes fully formed with your…

I don't know, I always found guys calling my animal names and barking after me overt enough for me. But even if it might be less overt in most other cases, it's in no way less frequent or less painful. Girls are more or less subtly (and not very subtly, mostly) constantly reminded that their sexual market value is in…

Yes, there's such a thing as gallow's humour, and yes, it's a good thing. But it only works if it's your own neck in the noose. Most rape jokes traded among bros are from the perspective of the audience, or the gaoler. And that's where it really doesn't count as gallow's humour any more. I don't see what would be…

I have a hard time thinking of a rape joke I'd consider funny, to be honest. At worst, they sound like unguarded wishfulfilment, at best, they merely trivalize the issue. But I'd argue that's bad enough. But no matter what kind of joke it is - letting them fly sends the same message: that rape is not a big deal.

Never let anyone tell you otherwise. People like to think they would have the right instinct in any situation - that there is such a thing as a right instinct in any situation - because they can't bear the thought that it could happen to them. As someone who's always gotten away unscathed so far and can therefore view…

Apparently not. He was pretty wealthy after all.

If that makes you feel better about yourself...

You know what - make your own tumblr that collects articles about women killing men after having been rejected by them. Come back to me in a year, compare the numbers and then we can talk.

I agree that he probably wasn't born that way. It's our misogynist culture that contributed to his corruption and that's why most people here are more interested in that talking about the wider cultural implications. Nobody denies that mental illness played a role in this. Mental illness is the trigger, but misogyny…

"Anyone that looks ugly is not going to be valued". Exactly. But it's mostly guys who are too weak to deal with this in a way that doesn't involve mass murder.

But not with equal frequency.

I also got a strong impression that this was really about sexual frustation or even a longing for intimacy. This was about status anxiety and nothing else. But see, the shooter was a complete narcissist. He wouldn't have been satisfied with being acknowledged in his humanity - he needed to be acknowledged in his…

Women too are regularly told that they are completely worthless if they're not sexually attractive to men. And yet they don't go on any killing sprees.

Women do it too, but men do it more frequently and have so pretty much since the beginning of written records. Do you want me to believe that's a coincidence?

Of course women can sympathize with the pain of rejection. You don't have to approach men to be rejected by them. They might sometimes go out of their way to let you know how undesirable you are to them (the other sort of catcall you'll hear if you're not sufficiently conventionally attractive in their eyes.) Did you…

I know I'm going to regret this, but... what exactly do you mean by "ugly trolling"?

I've never been afraid to say no, and reading these stories doesn't change that. But it makes me less quick to judge women who are. There's no failsafe solution in such a scenario - being direct might incurr his wrath; trying to let him down gently might just postpone it. I'll take my chances with directness, and it…

Troll harder.

You can't know whether the guy who makes the rape joke means it or not. Chances are he does. Not all people who make rape jokes might be rapists, but most rapists enjoy making rape jokes. And calling them out on it absolutely helps, because your silence will be read as approval and trust me, they're counting on it.…

About the fact that the community is now going to be in the media-spotlight due to this incident, not necessarily about the loss of life.