Fun fact: if all the women in America voted for Hillary, she’d win every electoral vote.

Please do not denigrate syphilis by associating it with Donald Trump.

I assume Chris Christie was unable to be reached because he was out getting everybody’s donuts and Starbucks?

Best case scenario: Melania leaves Trump, endorses Clinton and confirms for the world that he’s impotent.

I don’t really give two fucks who leaked it. Doesn’t change the fact that this oompa-loompa ass clown would think that saying this out loud would seem like a good idea. Doesn’t matter who’s company you’re in.

GODDDDDDD I hope it’s Jeb. That would be the best plot twist.

“Please clap.”

“Trump has since responded by blaming Bill Clinton.”

I have to admit that if I were one for consipracy theories, I’d find it awfully convenient that Billy Bush is one of THOSE Bushes. Is this Jeb! taking his revenge?

So proud of his cavity searching skills.

“Call me Tony.”

I don’t know why it pleases me so to hear about celebrities being perfectly lovely but it DOES.

Kara! I love Tweet Beat so much, and this weeks is the best! All the Trump takes are freaking on point and hilarious. Although I think there’s something much more personal that just gets me.

Context made me read his name as “Officer Febreeze”.  

Came to say the same! It’s like calm down dude, there’s no medal for colon mining (at least, not in this context). I hope he washed his hands.

That tweet with the smile makes Officer Febres seem like a creeper.

It’s also not fair that he gets to hang out at Stonehenge with Anothoy Hopkins and I don’t.

At this point, if you even THINK about making the argument that Hillary is just as bad as Trump, please remove yourself from society and just think about what you’ve done for a while.