My Law and Order degree says yes.

Jokes aside, the only way to wash is with liquid body soap and a Salux nylon bath towel.

If it’s at the Met Gala, I assume the plot is all eight women conspiring to make sure Amy Schumer has a terrible night.

But Musk wouldn’t do such a thing. He’d have a Tesla programmed to do it for him.

Are you people going to do this on every post today?

Nadiya’s amazing and she’s getting her own spinoff with the best title ever.

How many dates does one go on with Elon Musk before he takes you home to meet his mothership?

Jeah? Jno? Jaybe? I don’t Jknow?

World’s worst “men of” calendar.

You don’t hear about shitty athletes or poorer kids raping as much, it’s almost like star athletes and rich shits know they’re just allowed to rape consequence free.

What about shitty athletes? Do they get this sweet of a deal when they rape?

A mistake was eating a suspect looking bowl of guacamole last night, not raping others and earning the nickname “David the Rapist”. Perhaps, just perhaps, he is exactly how he portrays himself.

Wow. Katie Couric was never my favorite, but I really respect this.

more like a mongEWWWWWWS, right gals

Why would they worry? They get to keep their jobs.... FOR NOOOOOW!

This is the most riveted I have been since Ken Burn’s Electric Football

Thank you for doing this in-depth interview during this momentous historic jezebel.com moment. I laughed, I cried. It was like watching Titanic.

Seriously glad that you all seem in relatively good spirits!

I’m just going to go on record that my drawing contribution when Gabrielle asked us to draw her like one of our french girls was criminally underappreciated.

Christ. Never tell Mom anything.