Is that guy Muslim?

This is much more accurate, since unlike refugees, skittles can be orange.

PSA: Don’t put quotes on Instagram. No one wants to read that shit. NO ONE. Just keep posting bikini selfies and pics of your fruit topped french toast, ok?

America: you have just two skittles to choose from, and one will DEFINITELY KILL YOU.

Man, it’s so much fun that this guy is going to dominate the news cycle for at least a couple more weeks after having killed exactly zero people when another woman-targeting serial killer was just picked up in Ohio who has so far been connected to 5 deaths.

Someone on one of the major networks was saying it couldn’t be terrorism because no terrorist would be dumb enough to put a bomb in a dumpster where it would contain the blast and minimize damage.

Apparently his ratings are great. It seems that these days people like pretty banal and bland stuff. Listen to the music on the radio; no tension, substance, uniqueness or variety, just shallow glossy generic crap. Fallon is kind of the human version of it.

No shit. I didn’t set foot outside my apartment from Monday until Friday last week, and I only went outside Friday because I knew I had some eyeshadow waiting for me in my mailbox downstairs. I regularly get home Friday evening and hole up until Monday morning when I have to go to work. It’s one of my favorite things…

Why don’t you take a moment to think about this callous and irrelevant remark?

I’m a newish reader of this particular Jezebel feature—why is Reynolds not derided as an unfunny guy who tries desperately to be funny? Because that’s how all of his tweets sound.

the hell is this trash?! get it out of here!

Clicked because I liked her bobby pin action, got in about 20 seconds before I guffawed with delight. This is great.

If my two choices are:

Leslie Jones can and should do a lot better than a smarmy douche like John Mayer. Also, she should be aware of John’s self proclaimed “David Duke Dick”.

Sadly, he signed a non-compete agreement lasting two years.

yap

Same

At first I thought “The Dentonite” was Nick Denton’s new rag and got unreasonably excited.