What kind of tone deaf white people would actually audition for it though?

The problem is that client’s (especially the big corps) rarely if ever give the greenlight to let one of these responses fly, but when they do it is a great day for lawyering (which rarely happens).

This is pretty funny, considering that, so far as I can tell, nobody at Deadspin has ever written anything that wasn’t negative about Hillary.

I didn't get that. Maybe if you say it three more times...

somewhere between these two...

That Cleveland letter is perhaps the best response ever written by a lawyer.

Let’s dispel once and for all the notion that the NFL doesn’t know what they are doing.

NFL: **

The “Fuck You” legal response letter is one of America’s greatest gifts to the written word, but one of its least known or studied.

That’s the difference between a Pete Rozelle and this chromosome-deficient asshole. Trump — a terrible businessman — would run circles around Roger Goodell today, and we’d wind up with TrumpBall Presented by AT&T (f/k/a NFL) football on Sundays while the inbreds who own 70% of the league now counted their cash, and…

I’ve seen some knockouts before, but jesus christ. This is getting the knockout and landing a parting blow as they’re on the way down. Outstanding.

I’ll always feel it appropriate to post this when viewing fine lawyerin’

That last one is incredible. Could’ve really tied it back historically by adding “...unless some asshole got access to your letterhead and decided to write stupid letters to us. Perhaps because you seemingly forgot you represented Phillip Morris, we should assume that this is the case.”

That letter was ghostwritten by Pete Wells, wasn’t it?

While your earlier letter to The Times called the tobacco industry “perhaps the most odious industry in America history,” you somehow fail to mention in either letter that it was your firm that represented Phillip Morris in that RICO case.

Nah, it’s still shitty. She’s saying vulnerable people can’t withdraw their support from the process when it assiduously refuses to represent them.

I feel that has to be the easiest “get” in the history of hall passes. That’s basically, “I’m fucking Bill Clinton if I get within 100 yards of him.”