She liked one of my tweets once. It was the best thing to ever happen to me.

“Mr. President.....someone’s at the door. Probably the berders!”

This is absolutely delicious...

Let’s not. Let’s just not have deductibles. Let’s just have real fucking first world health care like every other civilized goddamn country.

They other day a group of girls was dying of laughter in class because one said she was going to own a store called Taco Shop but they wouldn’t sell tacos. And apparently that’s hilarious.

My boss has been calling her kids (early elementary age and preschool age) chicken butts and accidentally called me that at work yesterday. Best belly laugh of the year when her face turned red after saying it and explaining it’s her kids favourite joke right now. So now I am a chicken butt too.

I often think back and wish I could be as giddy and laugh as hard at stupid shit as I did as a tween. The way joy bubbles up and over at that age is an amazing thing.

Exactly, it’s like a spy found detailed descriptions of the enemy’s plans, and you decide you refuse to take them because you think you’ll learn better if you watch them implement their plans and kick your ass for awhile.

It also ignores that vaccinated immunity works exactly the same way as so-called “natural” immunity. Both teach your immune system to fight off an infection by exposing your immune system to the infection it has to fight. They operate on the same mechanism and accomplish the same thing.

One of these assholes tried to run that train on my sister after she had her second kid on Facebook....only didn’t actually think to look at her current occupation.

There are very few reasons to support any large corporate food company: but Hormel now has my business.

You know what else can kill your baby?

Here’s the thing with that. Kids are their own people to a certain extent. I mean, it really matters what parents do, but even the best intentions can go wrong. Parents aren’t literally superheroes even though they are expected to act like they are.

Look at Stephen Miller for example. In retrospect, we can criticize the…

Why would you talk to those men? Why would you stay there with those men there? Did you like the attention? Do you enjoy that kind of attention from men? Did you want that to happen to you?

I think we’ve let the right control the language of this discussion for too long. It’s not about life, it’s not really even about privacy so much. In fact, I think part of the reason Roe v. Wade has been so vulnerable to the right’s control of the language is because it centered the issue of privacy. To be sure,…

I point this out to people regularly. If you genuinely believe the fetus is a living baby, with all the rights and protections we afford to a post-birth child, then there is never an allowable reason for abortion. Do we walk into a nursery and kill the three-month old gurgling in their cot, because their father is a…

Here is the biggest factor: the next generations are becoming less and less religious. https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/the-u-s-is-retreating-from-religion/

2/10 homophobic troll. 

I want that to be the name of my autobiography: I’ll Eat as Much as I Want!