PSA: Always clean your anal beads after using them.
snookitina
snookitina
I already posted one but I just realized I have done something MUCH dumber.
Dislocated my jaw by yawning.
I yawned my face off.
Pictured: Having now produced offspring, the female Kardashian prepares to unhook its jaw and consume her mate. The male's peacocking now for nothing, his carcass soon to be swirling in her stomach's potent mix of acid, champagne and 2007 NBA Championship Rings, leaving behind only the pair of leather jogging pants he…
Talley lives in "a prim gated community dotted with gorgeous palm trees" and his "back yard is on a golf course." Also, his family gets $39K a year from the NFL and someone else "is paying for the Talleys' health insurance through the Affordable Care Act."
I cringe so hard when I read fanny-anything on an American site. In the UK fanny is an equivalent word to pussy. It makes me double-take so often with American media. Like Amy Poehler writing that when she was born 'her whole fanny' fit in her dad's hand!! Rose in Golden Girls looking forward to the sun beating down…
ugh. "Mean old relative terrorizes family but you still feel some guilt because they're clearly dying" stories are always brutal to read. Right up there with "wept through spending the holidays with a relative who has Alzheimer's and has no idea who we are" stories. What he said to your mother is awful. Sending you…
My freshman year of college, I was far from home (I am from CO, college was in PA), and knew I probably wouldn't have the money to fly back for dinner. My roommate offered to let me come back to New Hampshire with her and I agreed. A bunch of friends offered me places but I had already agreed to go with the roommate.…
One Thanksgiving, my teeth were just starting to come in. I was miserable and crying. My material grandmother, a lovely and tiny woman from Ireland, decided the best thing for me was to rub whiskey on my gums. Unfortunately, she didn't realize my paternal grandfather, an ex-Navy Italian from Queens, was doing the same…
Our Thanksgivings were usually rough, due to lingering resentments, lack of communication, and massive jealousies between the various members of my mother's family. The worst one was probably my grandfather's last, before he died.
Senior year of high school, my dementia ridden grandfather thought Thanksgiving dinner was just starting (we had finished but the adults still were around the table talking and drinking) and tried to say the Lord's Prayer as he pissed himself, destroying my mother's sanity and a dining room chair. Simultaneously…
And here come the evolutionary psychologists to yabber about supply and demand curves.
No, listen. Jeez, I can't believe I have to explain this to everyone.
Can I judge these schools because they hold twerking competitions for internships and simultaneously be appalled that that's what's called twerking in Czech Republic?
GUYS ITS A SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAM. sheesh.
I'd have probably done better in a twerking competition than I did on the math portion of my SATs.
Silver linings— we're allowed to be happy about them!
ugh look at his dumb face
I dated a guy who was around 4 inches hard. He knew how to use his tongue and there were plenty of toys we could use to enhance things in the bedroom. He was very accepting of his circumstance and worked hard to please me. Had more orgasms with him than any big dick guy. The guys with the big ones tend to finish…