Hopefully this contract ends with him replacing Mike Matheny as manager, which is exactly how his career started.

I think Patton Oswalt summed it up best:

I’m glad. Shia’s got his issues, but at heart he’s just the weird kid of some weird hippies. Leave him alone assholes!

That’s not the substance of this article, which was written by a religious person, at all.

Also, as numerous “family values a.k.a anti-LBGT” Republicans can tell you, you can, in fact, cheat on your wife with a man.

The fact that Pence is so adamant about the rules makes me think that it’s a mix of paternalism and him having cheated at some point.

Weird so many of these conservative guys fuck all their male friends after they grab a bite to eat.

Pro tip from a woman: If you want to “respect your wife,” then don’t cheat on her, or flirt with other women, or be a prop in an administration that is an international embarrassment. None of that precludes you from have a normal business relationship with other women, which often includes eating. You know, the thing…

The really great thing is, you don’t have to be alone with a woman to take away her access to health care.

It wouldn’t matter.

“Sueby Antinny. So great, people talking more about her and her great work. Had dinner with Fred Douglas down at the winter palace, played a round...he couldn’t stop talking about her. Fantastic. Ok...we done here?”

As a former teacher, I can pretty much guarantee his elementary school book reports went kind of like this: “This was a great book. I really liked it. Lots of really interesting things happened in it. It also had good characters. I really liked the parts with the descriptions, and the language the author used.”

Fabulous idea! Maybe we can make a movement out of this? He would be even more unhinged if everyone just pretended he didn’t exist.

Having our rights slowly stripped away by a true-believer like Pence would be bad enough but to have it done by an immoral charlatan like Trump, who doesn’t even believe in all this religious nonsense but will nevertheless inflict Christian Sharia on us, is somehow even worse.

It’s real simple.

“Eh buddy! The fuckin line’s back there!”

I know we’re overloaded with news, but why aren’t we hearing more about the note he passed to Angela Merkel demanding $380bn in “back pay” for NATO funding? Not only is he wrong on all the political science, but it’s literally something that my FUCKING FIVE YEAR OLD WOULD DO WITH CRAYONS.

Now that they aren’t going to manage to come to agreement among themselves on how exactly to blow up the whole health care system, we can fully appreciate the hilarity of Trump’s unstoppable negotiating style. He offered literally one concession to the people he was trying to win over, they said they appreciated it…

Turns out if *45 can’t sue someone, or declare bankruptcy, or call in his own PR pretending to be someone else, he has no actual negotiating skills at all. And those previous tactics aren’t skills.