The best part is it doesn’t even pretend it’s doing anything more. At least Nespresso and Keurig machines give the impression that there are tiny coffee gnomes living inside that brew every cup from scratch. This is like “put the bag on this hook and close the door, and we’ll squeeze it for you!” The tip of the…

So pathetic. So you got jobbed by the refs - that has absolutely NEVER happened to another team before!

Here’s an idea - how about you don’t let a 7 loss MAC hang with you at home to the point where you have to exploit a little-known loophole in order to avoid letting the result hang on the final play?

OR…

Yes, once you’ve opted into eating shitty food all the time, shitty food tastes normal.

“Before anyone brings up an extremely salient point, let me make a lame joke that does absolutely nothing to dispel that point”

Fun fact - nobody outside of Deadspin writers gives a shit about these “racist” logos. Not even most Native Americans. This is the domain of Concerned Liberal White People, and pretty much nobody else.

There is nothing dumb about putting yourself in a position where they will probably end up paying you a million dollars to go away, all in exchange for a bloody nose.

That is simply not true. You ARE owed compensation if bumped against your will - 400% of the price you paid. It’s federal law.

You’re more cynical than I am about the state of capitalism. Even if the company is a soulless, unfeeling entity (and it is!), this is a HORRIBLE business move. The max they offered for passengers to give up their seat was $800. In other words, they probably could have completely avoided all of this for something…

Roman Reigns IS over. He gets the loudest boos of anyone in the WWE every time his crappy music plays. All the idiot “smart” fans who cheer traditional heels are getting played. In the end, you need people who are hated to make wrestling work, and in the current era fans simply don’t hate people who come in and act…

“Generational talent?” The guy isn’t even top in his own draft class. And he’s almost surely going to collapse under the weight of his idiot father.

I prefer A Midsummer Night’s Cream.

I don’t notice things like this either. Have you ever been to a single guy’s place? It’s generally a trash pit. It’s not like guys LOVE cleaning but are nefariously letting you do all the dirty work. It’s that most guys simply don’t care and would live in relative filth if left to their own devices.

You just described a different issue - you simply care more about this stuff than he does.

Ummm...the “twin” to this book would be “How Not To Hate Your Wife After Kids”.

Because having your previously spontaneous, fun wife turn into a frumpy mommy who does nothing but obsess over kids all day isn’t exactly the greatest life transition either, you know.

Deadspin comes across looking like petty assholes for obsessively sniping at Simmons, not the other way around.

And on top of that, Simmons is right. He came up with the trade value column format and let a baseball expert he hired write the baseball version. Seems pretty straightforward that Keri would then give that…

are you serious? I suck at lip reading and even I can tell the coach was screaming “his arm went through the basket”

Ummm...pretty sure the guy driving like a maniac in a stolen car would be the one to blame for any injury, and not a frigging spike strip or the people who put it on the road.

Don’t be silly. She’s not doing this out of pure malice. She wants to redirect public funds to for-profit private education, which - shocker! - just so happens to be something her family is heavily invested in.

He looked at it a bunch of times, then showed it to his co-presenter for a 2nd opinion on what to do. He didn’t tell her to read the damn thing, she just blurted out the name. This is like 95% the fault of the idiots who couldn’t hand them the right envelope, and 5% the fault of Beatty and Dunaway for not…

Umm...he WAS looking for clarification. He showed it to his co-presenter like “what should we do with this?” He didn’t ask her to read it, she just went ahead and blurted it out.

It’s not like standing out there on stage on live TV you can call a conference to figure out how to handle the damn card that says “La La…