I admit I’m one of the white women who was proud that we saw zero arrests.

She’s so amazing

I bought a small one and din’t see improvement, but I also didn’t have time to use it twice a day as stated in the directions.

Really quick post because I’m celebrating with family and friends but....I GOT ENGAGED TODAY!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhh. I have no idea why the thought I can’t wait to share this with my Jezzie friends crossed my mind at this exciting time but it did and here I am. Love you guys and AHHHHHHH!!!!

I have one and it’s great! I need to take it out.

That’s not ok at all.

Not anywhere near as bad as credit card theft, but my grandma was posting excuses for Trump’s pussy grabbing comments on Facebook, and I had to tell her I thought it was gross to defend him over that. If you have a Southern grandmother, you know this is Not Done. But you know what? It’s also super weird that my…

What’s cooking, Jezfam? It’s chilly and rainy here so I went the comfort food route, which apparently means “eat an entire box of Annie’s mac and cheese” and now I am all carb-y and sleepy. What’s your rainy night in go-to? What are you nomming tonight?

I’m really proud of this stunt I pulled on my neighbor:

BEAUTY THREAD!

I’ll just leave this tweet here:

We’ve reached out to Tic Tac USA for comment on their fecklessness, and will update if and when we hear back. In the meantime, please, choose Certs.

If I get my shit together, I’m going as Jillian Holtzmann in ghostbusters.

Jessica Jones. I own everything I need to be her and it will be hard for people to guess if I’m dressed up.

I’ve missed you! Here’s my brag from a couple weeks ago: I took my first deposition! I didn’t vomit even though I thought I would, and the partner said I didn’t suck! (he also gave me some really helpful constructive criticism and delivered it kindly.)

Ocean’s 14: Divorced Dad Hangout

is this gonna be like a ben affleck thing where brad goes and lives in george clooney’s pool house for a few months because

I had a boyfriend in high school too. We even went to the prom together. He sent a lovely card when my wife and I got married, and I just sent a gift to welcome the new baby he and his husband are expecting this winter.

I was looking through the Bergdorf’s magazine this weekend with a friend and we laughed at this ridiculous coat for a really long time. Doesn’t it remind you of this guy?

So... I’m definitely being ghosted and I’m way more upset than I guess I thought I’d be. I was going to go into this big long thing about the whole history but it doesn’t really seem worth it.