Seconding the advice to tell him you will buy your own drinks. Just be super firm and up-front before it comes time to pay. You don’t have to be rude, just say something like, ‘look, I appreciate that you want to be generous with your FRIENDS, but it’s important to me to pay for my own things. It makes me feel weird…

yeah, I thought women’s bodies had a way of dealing with those things.

I am a sadist. I don’t know what’s wrong with me? Maybe I just want to hate fuck him?

Go into that black hole of a store with a plan, or you’re coming out with cookie scented candles, a salad spinner, and NO TOWELS.

Spoken from experience.

I’m watching Gossip Girl on Netflix and eating some kick ass macaroni and cheese while I contemplate getting another tattoo. It’s the little things in life, y’all.

I talked a couple weeks ago about my weight loss (92 pounds now... huzzah!) but I also lost something else just last week: my virginity. I’m 31 and had been practicing abstinence. I wasn’t saving myself and didn’t have any hang ups about sex apart from some body image issues, I just wasn’t interested in casual sex and…

First week back to school. It went okay. I dyed my hair almost completely magenta before I started back to work. One of the little sixth grade boys came up to me after recess and tells me, “Ms Deerlady, I like the way your hair looks when you stand in Ms R’s doorway to get (students). The light reflecting off your…

“all bodies are a gift from god.”
right, and that’s why instead of returning it, i’m just having some things changed so it works better for the owner.
Like, if i got a car as a present and it’s filled with the wrong fuel, i wouldn’t drive it as is. I would replace the fuel with the correct one, so i can actually use the…

If there is nothing else I believe to be true in the world, I believe Kanye is the sort of man with a signature floral arrangement.

I used to teach elementary art in a really low-income school district near Denver. One student, Franklin, was a third-grader who was homeless and living in a car with his mother at the time. The district and social services were aware and helping as much as possible, but mom was hard to work with due to some ongoing…

No. Kill him before he can kill you.

Sounds like he spends a lot of time on Etsy.

It means that Hillary has a pulse and a functioning nervous system.

Hillary: No, but I’d sleep with Shane from the L Word. What does that mean?

Many women have asked this question, Hillary. Don’t fret.

Please have Hermione go into politics or the Ministry of Magic instead. Her running a Lululemon just breaks my feminist heart.

That is the Mean Girl “I’m gonna fuck you up backwards, sideways and frontal you scene-stealing son of a bitch!” smile, if ever I’ve seen one.

Look on the bright side, it could have been “What’s New Pussycat”?

From the 1st pizza story: The typical don’t you know who I am etc etc.

Is he the one that also hates me and my gays?