I used to work for the tabloids, so it’s not a question of if I have a story, but which one I tell the Jezzies.
There was the time Dave Navaro refused to be interviewed unless I gave him a blow-job. He had just married Carmen Electra.
There was the time on a red carpet that a very drunk Gary Busey asked me how, a…

I worked in the entertainment industry in the late 90’s. Here’s my rundown.

My uncle was a limo driver in the 70’s-80’s and they didn’t have cells back then of course, so when he was late picking up a job at the airport, the person called my grandma’s house to see where he was, my uncle was living with her. She told they guy my uncle had left already and would be there shortly. Aparently the…

You’re a dick, Jonathan.

I hope your asshole writes a bestseller countering all of your dick’s accusations, and that the two of them become embroiled in a decades-long media feud.

Lakes are well known for attacking unsuspecting people, who are just driving around, minding their own business. You don’t have that kind of problem with ponds or rivers so much, but, damn, those lakes’ll get ya.

“you’ve never worked with the general public before.”

I’ve been working with General Public so long, he was just Lieutenant Public when I got started.

“How dare you mock the guy for not knowing what the beach is? Some people make it to age 50 without visiting the beach and somehow completely missing the ever-present representations of beaches in popular culture. Besides, many people suffer from Glorpman’s Syndrome, which is an inability to understand the…

Damn right. My grandmother would not put up with this bullshit. If one of us kids acted a fool at the table, we got told to leave it. Her philosophy was “they’ll eat when they’re hungry enough.” No special dishes, no special way it's made. You eat what she cooked or go to bed hungry.

Kids should be required to at least try anything before they reject it because “it looks funny,” though. I don’t agree with making kids eat everything they hate, but they damn sure shouldn’t get to sit in their plain-hamburgers-with-ketchup-and-maybe-plain-cheese-pizza comfort zone all the time (I’M LOOKING AT YOU, MY…

“Also, please take this complementary diabetes as a souvenir of your tour!”

“Here, we see a server remove the packaging from a frozen cheesecake that arrived on truck this morning to be thawed in a cooler. And so begins and ends our tour of Obscene Selection of Cheesecakes.”

Absolutely mind-blowing cosplay. It looks like it should be CGI, and I’d probably have to hear him speak just to convince my brain that it’s not actually Grom Hellscream.

That is way too frikkin awesome of a cosplay. He needs to be fined for being to good.

I’ve never commented on Kinja nor have i felt compelled to. But I can’t help myself; the current state of America is completely fucked. Period. And no one is listening.

Considering the cops arrested Kevin Moore, who filmed the Freddie Gray arrest yesterday, it seems clear they want to make sure there are no witnesses to any of their actions. Their arrest of Kevin Moore was pure intimidation, plain and simple. Cops are pissed right now that 6 of their own are being charged.

“Sliwa added that he also believes the feeling is mutual: “I had an attraction to her, and I have felt some sexual tension when I have been in her presence,”

I have to say, Timothy Dalton in this film is one of the finest performances of any actor ever on screen.

Next on Fox News: “Why is President Obama spending so much time pole dancing instead of fighting ISIS? Stay tuned for part five of our 17 part series on why Obama is the worst president in the history of everything.”