Remember, there’s no magic wage threshold for restaurants to replace employees with robots. The point employees will be replaced is “when the technology exists.” And only when a touchscreen can handle your 92 year old Aunt Nona’s electronic device incompetence without employee assistance is the day human order takers…

Worshipping a squirrel =/= making it clear you have very little regard for women and espousing those views in a public and very visible way.

I think it’s time we go Lysistrata on their asses.

Yes, far better than I’m capable of, frankly.

You should go alone. I’m going with a friend because he’s got relatives we can stay with for free, but I’ve traveled alone a LOT and it’s generally my strong preference.

The BBC’s rule on how flaccid a penis has to be to be ok to show on tv is called “the Mull of Kintyre rule”. Anything more erect than that is pornographic.

Oh, great! One more dubious achievement I can make myself feel bad about not perfectly achieving. I sincerely hope leaning in helps here.

Right? EXIT ONLY!!!

“Our motives were not to insult or look down on anyone, not to be sexist,”

Oh honey, no. We just think they’re dumb and we’re going to have a great, great Tuesday morning making jokes. Thanks for clickin’!

The Duggar Principle: Everything is A-Ok as long as you (1) call yourself a Christian and (2) plead forgiveness and understanding and (3) oh yeah, could you leave me alone during this difficult time?

I am a good Christian man

the house doesn’t appear to be affiliated with a fraternity

When did anal become the new “heavy petting over clothes”?

We went through a period of time a couple years ago where my wife was going to be stay at home. We approached it differently than the calculator, we went simpler. We already had a spreadsheet with our budget on it (tracked for a whole year). We copied it, then zeroed out expenses, and changed expenses based on what we…

These calculators always seem like they’re trying to convince people to stay home through disingenuous oversimplification. Work expenses include lunches, but stay-at-home doesn’t include any increase in food expenses? No line item for the retirement contributions you’ll be foregoing by staying home, just a simple…

If I had a quarter for every person who says I should get this procedure done on my hair I would be rich enough to run on the Republican ticket. I have NO idea what people have against curly hair. It isn’t like I’m growing snakes or tentacles from my scalp and my curls sure as hell won’t give me cancer.

“They judged me for being naked, so I judged them for not looking exactly like me! Me! Me! MEEEEEEEEEEEE”

In what’s quickly becoming a Team Nobody sort of situation