I had a c-section with no skin-to-skin afterwards because I was fucking out of it (I’m not the world’s greatest anesthesia patient, apparently) and barely even recognized this weird pink wiggly thing is a human infant. I was shown our son after he was born and stabilized and then he was sent with his dad back to the…

Translation: Being an obsessive nerd, I go around houses like this with binoculars and flashlights.

I’ve got Yub Nub cued up already!

Origin: X-Files Fandom circa early 90s. The fandom was split between the shippers and the noromos (for “no romance”). The latter, thankfully, did not stick as a term.

Speaking as an urban hipster chicken-keeper: hell yeah they are gross! They shit where they eat, ffs. That’s why they don’t come in the damn house (what the hell???), because I am not a crazy person!

THE FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT PICTURE

If you want to see an Uber robo car, just hang out on Liberty Ave. in Bloomfield because I see like 3 a day in that area.

Yep. Snow + San Francisco-like hills. Buckle up!

They picked us because CMU is where all their researchers are poached from. Uber has been driving self-driving cars around Pittsburgh for the past year. I see them all over the place.

See, that’s what I think makes it the best. If you can make self-driving cars work here (in winter!), they can work anywhere. Nobody will be able to claim that Uber’s vehicles won’t work in [insert city that isn’t a brand new California suburb with one season] if they can make it work in Pittsburgh.

I have a couple tricks that help just keep track of everything. The first is that my bank offers an account where I have a Checking, a Savings, and a Reserve account, and in the Reserve account you can set up a whole bunch of pots of money and give them names. So my car money goes in a little pot called “Car” so…

For those of us who are mostly able to pay our bills but frequently get caught out by fluctuating costs or unexpected things like car maintenance or the hot water heater shitting the bed:

But idiot Trump voters will hear his accent and assume he’s super duper smart and erudite.

My account is actually three separate but linked accounts (a long term savings, a short term savings and a checking). I have it set to take any overdraft out of short term savings. No fees associated with that.

If we as a society have decided (which I am not sure that we really have, but we say that we have) that we’re not okay with just letting people starve on the street or die in the gutter, then someone has to pay for people with chronic mental health problems such as addiction or depression that drives the sufferer to…

Same. I’ve never heard anyone thinking that pump and dump replaces the contaminated milk instantly with uncontaminated milk. It’s just to maintain supply while you feed from a bottle instead.

I’m so old, the only noodz of me that exist are actual taken-with-a-real-camera-developed-on-paper pics that a photographer friend took of me in college for an art show. I got a couple prints off her and gave them to my now-husband when we were dating. The live in a drawer somewhere.

Ironically, I think this is actually why the Orlando massacre has prompted some small amount of #realtalk. Because it was an attack on the LGBT community, it’s not seen by the average ‘merican as quiiiite the tragedy that, say, Newtown was. Because of who it happened to, conservatives are having a real hard time…

Look at all those grinning crackers.

It was several years ago. His name was Richard Poplawski. He lived 4 blocks from my house. I spent that morning in the basement holed up with my dogs and praying he wouldn’t decide to do a runner through my back yard. All his social media was white supremacist and “Obama’s gonna take away mah gunz!”