Aw, no one has ever doge memed for me before!

If only had ten thousand more stars to give.

My calorie counting app took 100 cal away from my daily budget after I lost 20 lbs. It was a sad day :(

I’m 2 lbs away from my goal (been counting calories and exercising for about as long as you) and those 2 lbs are taunting me. And once I get there, I probably should re-up for another 10-15 lb loss. It’s going to take a long time, but I comfort myself with the fact that I am doing this in a sustainable way. I cut…

He’s only three, but so far nothing has been unexpcted. Child care is redonk, but everyone knows that going in. We’re really lucky in that we have family childcare help for free part-time, so we only pay for part-time center care. Writing that check each month still makes me grit my teeth, though. He cannot turn 5…

I’ve learned that art museums just in general are probably not the best use of my time while traveling. I’m not such an aficionado that I really truly need to see most works up so close that I can see the brush strokes. I can look at pictures on the internet and they look the same.

I’m not a huge fan either. I live in a medium-sized city a 90 minute flight away and honestly, I’ll just stay home and save $800, thanks. I’ve been a few times—once for a very specific concert event and once because my parents were going and invited me and my husband and thus we did not pay for it. Once for a wedding.…

Same when I was studying abroad in China. It was the 90s and there was only one McDonalds in Shanghai and it was hella expensive but you better bet I got some fries as a treat every now and then. Frickin ambrosia.

Decontextualized dicks just look ridiculous.

I’ve come to realize that when it comes to video porn, I just want zero dicks. I don’t care what else is going on but by god get the dicks outta there. No dicks. Though honestly I can’t even get it up to any kind of video porn any more. The various possible/probable consent issues just kill my ladyboner dead.

Do keep in mind, though, that staying home with a puking kid sucks. It’s a benefit that you might not get fired for that, but staying home from work in order to get barfed on is not something that most people would choose over going to their jobs if such a choice were available.

YES DO IT! My husband’s company offered 8 weeks at full pay (better than my employer gave me at the time!) and he took every last day of that. The best part is that he was able to split the time and not take it all at once, and that worked out amazing. He took 4 weeks when I first had our son, then went back to work…

I got this message loud and clear too (my parents are still together, almost 50 years, but my mom also worked full time her entire adult life until retirement). Having to fully or even mostly rely on someone else, even someone I love very much and who loves me, gives me the screaming meemies. I’ve been very happily…

I think it’s both that and a hatred of women and an especial hatred of working women. Getting pregnant is seen as a punishment for opening your legs. If you need any accommodation whatsoever as a result of getting pregnant, well, you just should have kept that dime between your legs, little lady. The only approved…

Here’s the scenario I’m envisioning with his wife: that looks like a pretty new baby. His wife has likely been up for hours with that thing attached to her boob like a vampire. She now has an opportunity to ride the train with no tiny human touching her. Until you’ve spent hours with a tiny human literally attached to…

Daniel Tiger is a Mister Rogers spin-off (it’s animated), so it might give you some nostalgia feels too. (Bonus fun facts: Lady Elaine is married to Music Man Stan and has a biracial daughter and Henrietta Pussycat is a single mother.)

My child will literally only binge watch Daniel Tiger. You try to put Sesame Street on and he screams NOOOOO I WANT DANIEL TIGER!!!! He’s kept this up for over a year. Nothing but Daniel Tiger on Netflix. Thank god they just added the first half of the second season.

My toddler is not yet potty trained (sigh) so my morning is more arguing about whether clothes are necessary and less about potties. Same total amount of arguing, though. Replace mermaids with Daniel Tiger and frozen strawberries with freeze-dried strawberries (Trader Joe’s has convinced my child that fruit as god…

Do daycare centers not exist in your world?

I already eat vat-grown food at least once a week. Shit is delicious.