If Nowitzki didn't have possession, would it be an off the ball foul?

Afterwards, use it as a garnish for your Bloody Mary, as shown here.

For Guy Fieri Smoked Salmon, simply use the recipe above, substituting bleach for the brine. Then feed the whole shebang into a blender until liquified and drop thatin the freezer for a few hours. Cut it into cubes and flush the cubes down the toilet. Cry.

Fresh fish! Fresh fish! ~Aaron Hernandez

Good God.

Attendance at Astros games is just fucking soaring.

Goddamnit, THANK YOU. Madonna is the musical equivalent of the dude who played football in high school and still talks about it, even though he's 42 and sells renter's insurance in Reno now.

This surprises me. I thought you had to have head trauma to want to play for San Francisco this year.

The ankle bracelet doesn't have that kind of range.

Don't blame him. Jameis can't be seen with those criminals, he has an image to protect.

They probably told him that they wouldn't be serving crab legs at the pre-Draft buffet.

And it also bears repeating that these extraordinarily profitable leagues are non-profits.

Maybe they do breakfast, like Huevos Ranch-eros.

I suppose you could say I did so of my own volition.

I had a friend who—while ludicrously stoned—liked to take two slices of pizza, spread a thin layer of ranch dressing on each, and then sandwich them together cheese to cheese. He'd eat that abominable creation with a look of orgasmic revelry on his face, seemingly unaware of the culinary atrocity he'd perpetrated.

She's trying to tell us that she was the brain behind HorseEbooks all along.

Good for him. There should be no shame in admitting that one has an illness and that one's priorities are to get healthy. If this is what he thinks he needs to lead a good life, then godspeed, Larry.

Insurance? Larry's gonna be hosting late night.