After reading all these Foodspin articles I've come to an unmistakable conclusion:

Be careful about Dry Hand/Wet Hand confusion when cooking with Paul Reubens or Kellen Winslow.

I've got pockets full of kleenex and lint and holes where everything important to me just seems to fall right down my leg, and on to the floor. My closest friend linoleum.

That would actually be less insulting to me than their product.

"Albert Burneko is off."
- A cannibal with a taste for writers and a defective refrigerator.

A man sits down next to an attractive nun and asks her if she'll have sex with him for $1,000,000. She says "Sure." Then he asks her if she'll have sex with him for $5. She looks aghast and says "What do you think I am?" He replies "Ma'am, we've already established that. Now we're just negotiating."

This is the most genius nude pic trolling I've ever heard of.

My favorite movie of the past year.

Finally going to watch the World's End. Hopefully I'll laugh and be distracted from the Blackhawks shitting the bed.

I have to suggest mignonette sauce as an excellent oyster accoutrement. It's an excellent flavor enhancer that doesn't overpower the natural flavor of the oyster.

I thought the Rocky Mountains folk harvested their own oysters.

Luckily, you're a bonehead.