Apparently happy to be there.

I have managed to hear none of these songs. You guys have taken a bullet for me.

It's long since been established that the owls are not what they seem. In addition, sometimes it feels like we are subject to the gestures of an invisible hand . . .

Spoonula was the lamest vampire ever.

Did someone say "bundt"?

He clearly didn't read the sign forbidding outside food or drink.

Good thing it wasn't a McRib. He could have only been charged for a limited time.

Aw, hell. I don't have a cell phone. One more way of being behind the times.

"I'd hit it." Men. Much of the body snarking seems to come from intra-female competition or from the fashion design world that wants women to be coat hangers rather than themselves.

All of them on display.

Oliver won one for the kipper.

To the best of my admittedly limited knowledge, Gwendolyn Brooks and Ntozake Shange never encountered this problem.

Pity the man. Poor bastard couldn't find a Tim's.

I didn't know Ron Jeremy played guitar.

Indeed. His statement could be the first installment in a feature entitled "Today in 'No Shit.'"

I know this is covered by #52, but daikon really, um, stands out.

What happened to "play it where it lays"?

"But why, Burger King, why black cheese? Why?"

But the NFL's a nonprofit organization. They can't be too bad, right? Right?

Sumbitch. Anybody have an idea of how old it was to get that big?