I went to an interview last week and I was all prepared to negotiate salary because I already get paid more than the middle of the salary band so I needed to convince them to pay me at the top of the band.

I read somewhere once that if you’re black, the healthy range is higher by about 5 points (so you can have a higher BMI) and if you’re say southeast asian, the healthy range is 5 points lower (so you should have a lower BMI).

You could just say “my mom/dad was an alcoholic”.

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I tipped the girl $30 bucks and wrote SORRY!! on the receipt... my date asked “Why so much? She was terrible!”

After enough heartbreaks, I’ve learned to:

Seriously, the kind of restaurants I go to... people don’t take photos of their food.

I got Whatsapp before they introduced the 99 cents charge and so I’ve never had to pay.

Free texts and calls to people in other countries.

I’m a fran. I’m a fran. I am indeed a fran of citrus and seafood.

One thing I wouldn’t do is go on a spending spree. Most lottery winners are broke within years of winning and yet almost every new lottery winner talks about their plans to pretty much spend all of their money buying this for this one and that for that one.

Dispersing the static electricity through a bigger surface area would also do the trick.

Do I have to enrol in a developer program for this?

I’m sorry, I don’t get it. He calls you by the wrong name; you allow it. How does it hurt him to think that you’re called Fred? Why do you find this so funny? It’s inane. And what does this have to do with the fact that (you’ve decided) he uses too much water?

My dad’s harmless... a little bit of OCD... woke up in the middle of the night to tend other people’s lawns. It’s hilarious how someone could be so biased.

My job gave me the option of a dongle or the app.

Do you real think that multiplying your hourly rate by 2080 is easier than multiplying it by 2000?

Try Brussel sprouts, asparagus, or broccoli stalks with balsamic vinegar, roasted. You can eat kale that way too.

Yes.

No, they’re kind of like altoid tins. Sometimes, they come as a special with boxes of (applicator-less) tampons. Alternatively you can use anything altoid tin-like.