Here in Kansas City, Missouri I can tell you this is the only thing they’re talking about at McDonald’s playplaces. It’s like someone put a fork in their microwave. I fucking love it.

All over Missouri, forced-birth politicians are having a Valarie Hodges moment.

“Religious freedom” goes both ways, fuckers. Good on you, Satanic Temple.

why are you here

Because they couldn’t make Black Widow movie.

In the afterglow of Thanksgiving, I’d like to take a moment to be thankful...Dear Lord, I’m thankful that social media did not exist when I was that age. I’m thankful that I never got herpes or a DUI or even a bad tattoo. I’m not sure how I managed that, but thank you forever and ever. Amen.

The same thing happened with inventions that were supposed to make housework easier (vacuum cleaners, washing machines, etc.): people didn’t spend less time cleaning, but their houses were cleaner.

Crazy how much people overthink how complicated this all is. It’s really easy to understand!

The sad part is that this is the 3rd show in the last few years that had to alter or delay an episode because of a mass shooting. I don’t know if that says more about the prevelance of violence on TV or our horrific gun culture (one and the same?)

And nothing about timing made her throw in the bullshit framing of:

She also has no previous experience in politics and an English B.A

Fun fact! She worked as a child model (for Ralph Lauren, natch) and she modeled for Ivanka’s online store. She was also the face of the ‘hourglass adventures’ kid’s novels, with which I am totally unfamiliar.

Evil ages you, but allows you to outlive everyone.

So I’m guessing there was no date No. 2?

The kids a lost cause. Give it to him.

Do not go. Do. Not. Go. DO NOT GO on this alleged vacation. This is all for your mom’s benefit. She is trying to rewrite history, a la ‘well it couldn’t have been so bad if you came on this vacation’. She’s at a point in her life where she realizes she is closer to the end than the beginning. This is her attempt to…

but much worse he talks bad about me to our four year old daughter.

At this point, I have completely accepted the prospect of nuclear annihilation. I just hope that if that happens before the end of Game of Thrones, there will be a couple of tweets sent out telling us what happens in order to make our last few minutes on Earth slightly more bearable.

Good news! You can finally feel bad for people affected by this natural disaster! Houston has a Democratic mayor and is mostly blue so now you too can feel like the people who are being rescued from rising waters from their roofs should deserve some sort of help. https://www.texastribune.org/2016/11/11/harris-county-tu…

Always relevant.