Hey! I won! That's awesome! I never win anything. No wait, that's not true! I won comment of the day on Jezebel back in May 2008, and I was hiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh as a fucking kite for oh, at least ten minutes. I think a friend even bought me a beer off the back of that triumph.

This story comes, as do most of my better ones, from my time working at Space Camp. I was working an adult weeklong camp during the off season and it came to the time of week when the campers participated in their extended mission which was eight hours long. I was working the SpaceHab area which is the self contained…

Uh, building a desk fort when you have nothing better to do sounds awesome. And I'm now sad that my workspace desks are bolted together in such a way that I cannot construct a fort.

I love/hate stories like this because I know you can't give names, but I sooooo want to know! :)

I work with teenagers. These are actual things that I have had to say in the last 7 weeks:

"She lasted two more years before quitting the industry altogether and now lives in Portland."

That is fantastic.

oh, i havebeen mistaken for a hooker at least five times. but i am a lady so there's that.

I'm pretty sure I've shared this before, but the office manager at my first office job used to take bites out of people's lunches. Like, she would open the lunch bag, take out the sandwich, take a bite and then put it back. She got caught a million times and gave zero fucks.

My friend worked at a manufacturing plant where he was the only male among an army of women who inspected all the plant output. One day at lunch, he went home for a quicky with his GF. When he returned, he had unknowingly pulled up his pants without his underwear, so they were hanging out the back of his pants.…

Christmas Eve, 4 pm. It's about one hour until close and I've been working the register all day.

A woman comes up to the counter. She wants to purchase a suit and a dress, and she wants them hung up. Okay, fine, whatever.

I start ringing up her purchase, scanning the clothes and taking them off the hangers. The woman…

Oh, my god, I had a boss who did the exact same thing. Is this a generational thing? Rabbits with ridiculous voices? He also liked to provide insight into the private thoughts of the raccoons that came around his backyard, complete with a song and dance (I wish I were kidding) he made up.

Me too! I imagine he was just staring at it and getting really psyched up!

What do you want to hear about first?

This is actually my dad's story but it's a family favorite that always gets trotted out at holidays and parties.

Retail. Man comes into the store where I was working. Acts a little strange and shifty. I forget about him, because I have ordering to do. When I finished, I go to the back of the store to put some items away. Strange and shifty was on the floor with his pants pulled down. He was sucking his own penis.

When I was in college, I interned for a major Hollywood producer during award season. Jesus fucking Christ. It was like The Devil Wears Prada on steroids. Expense reports had to be filed in a very particular way as to not reveal how much money was going to basically buying voters off. The producer was sleeping with at…

My boss sat the entire company down one morning in the boardroom for a very important meeting.

I can't help but lol at her for calling him both an Atheist and a Muslim in the same breath.