"they should change the name of the magazine to White People"

Look. If you're an American who doesn't think the police treating peaceful protests in Ferguson with the level of invading a hostile enemy city is over reacting, I just don't know what to say to you. Obviously, you're an idiot.

IN MID-AIR! lol

Or, how will we simultaneously watch Law & Order (seat-back style) while crushing mad candies (phone) and pinning (tablet)? It takes three screens at all times.

Oh god I hope not. Watching the flight path on the seat back screen is the ONLY thing that keeps the plane in the air when I travel, I'm sure of it.

Don't ask me, I can't do it if the cat is watching.

Shit. I do that to my wife. But I never thought if it as masturbating "at" her but more for her. Going to have to check in with what her opinion is.

With determination.

So if somebody starts jacking off at you, pull out your camera phone.

Well, to be fair to police, with no name, no video, and no immediate call out with a description, they're not going to search the entire city for a masturbator when there's a shocking amount of violent crime, especially involving firearms, in DC. You can file I guess, but nothing's going to happen.

I mean, she's just lucky they didn't come into the Panera and shoot her dead on the spot (esp. if she's black).

This is such a good point. My sister and I are polar opposites. I was the booksmart-competition-motivated-pushing-makes-me-work-better-kid. She was the creative type who wilted in competition and had unusual skills due to learning disabilities. She went on to go to NFL nationals and was a finalist multiple times. …

We don't have to give everyone a trophy for everything, but we could, y'know... not be a bag of buttholes to them.

Those aren't sweat pants. Soft, slouchy pants in a fabric like silk or crepe are pants, not sweat pants. I have a couple pairs of those, too. I wear them to work or out to dinner. I would never wear them to the gym or even just to lie around the house because (1) they would wrinkle like crazy, and (2) they are too…

You're super cereal about it!

Michelle Duggar needs to talk to you about using the restroom.

You are now bigender genderqueer. We decide these things by smells, you know. Very scientific. Much research.

No lie, every time my fiance and I go out to diner-style restaurants, he orders the veggie burger and I order a steak, or a regular burger, or a chicken sandwich, or something carnivorous (I am a woman). Without fail, they always try to give me the veggie burger and him the the meat. Different restaurants, different…

Trust me, vegetarian men like smellin' the bacon too.

Gold diggers everywhere are wearing their coach bags at half mast today.