Meh. I don’t like when cleavage exposure slides into midriff exposure. It just looks uncomfortable. So Porsha’s look really bugged me. And Kenya’s “natural” long breasts looked very uncomfortable too, and I’m a bit tired of Cynthia’s big wigs, because she doesn’t have the personality to go with them. And Shamea…

But then fucking Brandon had to keep going with it. Jesus, Brandon, do you ever miss a chance to ride coattails?

Yes!!! Homegirl would be rocking Wild Eyes™ and just claim to have been born with leopard eyes.

But look at her here! She must be very judicious with the brow area, because they can actually move!

Interesting. They’re so emotionally deformed that I usually have just assumed it was fake. But this was the first time I saw a person who was honestly very clearly upset with no tears. I think your ‘tox theory holds water.

I used to like Kandi a lot but the more time her mom and staff spend on camera, the less I can like her. You can’t just say “mama!” every time your mother says something disgusting. If you don’t take any action to get her in line, you’re complicit, period. And Don Juan, girl, get out of here. You’re as thirsty as…

Seconded alllllllll the way around. The only thing I need in a housewife is a pinch of self-awareness. Phaedra knows what she is, but she likes to put on a different face. Kenya has NO IDEA how heinous she is. Also, girlfriend lies her face off. That’s her real hair, her real boobs, her real ass? At least I get…

I interpreted it as a the drunkenness of a man who likes to play the victim and make the world think he was brokenhearted.

Seconded. Also, Peter, any reason I need to know how long it’s been since you fucked your wife? I once knew a guy who filed for divorce on the grounds of alienation of affection, i.e. his wife stopped fucking him. (This was faaaar from the biggest problem in their marriage.) It always came across as so dated, like…

Just to add, many/most of them are/were at one point married while on the show. You’d be surprised how quickly marriages fall apart for people with personality disorders who are also starring on reality tv.

Um, why not? He was a total shitbag while she was married to him, and she blames herself for the demise of their marriage. What’s to say she’d wake up all of a sudden now?

My biggest question was why Porsha couldn’t produce tears. She seemed legitimately upset and shocked—we’ve all seen Porsha fake enough shit to tell the real from the put-on. And eventually, she was really crying. But what was that shit at the beginning, dabbing the eyes that were still white as an eggshell? …

They’re not filming—it was kind of a bait-and-switch. They were all together for a photoshoot. They haven’t confirmed a second season, and I really, really hope they won’t.

I literally never thought I’d say this, but can we just let Scott live? When Kourtney bangs Justin Bieber, we’re all like, “Yas! Get your life, girl!” but then when Scott dates, we’re all so disdainful. She doesn’t want to be with him. Is he just supposed to pine on forever?

I literally did not know facial swelling in pregnancy was a thing until I was at a store, mentioned I was pregnant (the cashier couldn’t see my belly over the counter) and she demanded, “lemme see your nose” and then peered in really closely. “Yeah, I hope my nose looks like that. It’s a boy, then?” (It is.) My…

I’m reasonably certain there’s no recipe for The Outfit In Which You’re Supposed to Feel Awesome. Personally, I look like a hausfrau in a cardigan and I think wedges are tacky as shit. I think that’s why everyone chooses her own outfit—because opinions vary? Some people feel like they don’t like how they look…

I have so much less problem with the tits and ass aspect than I do with the fact that they’re never situationally appropriate. Ariel, there are clothes for daytime and evening. That is an evening dress. Do you see how the kid next to you is wearing khakis? That’s not because his tuxedo pants were at the cleaners. …

Yeah, your mom sounds like a total hosebeast. “I pray that God will remove your own self-determination and free will, which he actually gave you—so that’s weird—so I can have another tiny human that I’ll see at most twice a week and with whom you are saddled for the rest of your life.”

I just hope that it doesn’t turn into the case against IUDs. I work in public health and we see them (and other LARCs) as pretty near a silver bullet.

Well, Dolly sure seems to like Miley’s version, seeing as that’s her goddaughter.