Wait, I'm having one of those moments where the whole center of my world gets sucked out—they're saying, "I took a plane down in Africa?" I heard, "I bless the rains down in Africa."

I don't mind telling you that in the throes of my ambien addiction circa 2005, I ordered virtually every infomercial product, including a pill that was supposed to be a combination sleep-aid and weight loss drug (wait, wasn't I already on ambien?) and, yes, Meaningful Beauty. And seriously? It's the jamz. It might…

The casting for Les Mis is total trauma for my childhood theater geek. Literally every single post I read about it, I respond with two words, and no more: "I can't."

I literally had to call in Mr. Slowtraincoming in from the other room to explain that David Beckham picture, and he was unsuccessful (beyond, "photoshop," which I think is a fair assessment). I've been acquainted with my fair share of dongs in my day, both large and small, but...what's going on with David Beckham's…

Yeah, I'm loathe (wait, or is it loath? I never remember which is which. Anyway...) to make generalizations, but the oozy-sexy women tend to be kind of like a man who drives a Dodge Viper. Like, overcompensate much?

I really don't know. I'm one of those 4 people who still watch TeeVee. It's on Vh1 though. No idea what time—I just set my dvr to record.

If my Pop-Up Video memory serves, Elton hand-picked JT to star in that video, saying he felt a strong connection with him and so on. Since that video was supposed to be a sort of mini-biopic of Elton's hard-partying days (seriously, watch the Pop-Up Video, there are so many hidden references that I missed, but PUV…

Oooh! Do you think they've been floating around in the blinds? I love when I can connect stories to blinds I've read. Though the most exciting and scandalous blinds are almost never revealed—otherwise PR would cease to exist as an industry*.

I'm really happy for Jennifer Hudson. For real, I've got nothing but love for her. But I'm dismayed that a person can be such a powerful talent, and have a life story that goes like this: was on American Idol, lost, but landed first major movie role which won her an Oscar (and a BAFTA, and an NAACP Image award,…

Possibly/probably. I wasn't arguing about the length (or lack thereof) of their marriage, just answering your question as to whether they were married for a full year.

Wow. I sincerely wish I hadn't asked.

Wait! Elaborate! I kind of thought the relationship started when he hit on her relentlessly in his VMA monologues. What picture of boobs?

I'm no Katy Perry apologist, but she actually does write her own songs, usually with a team, but she writes them. That song is the only Katy Perry song I have ever liked and I did download it (don't tell anyone) and when I listened to it, I couldn't help thinking...But you're married. You probably shouldn't be…

They married in October 2010.

Jesus, that's so sad.

I'm kind of confused about why Jezebel seems insistent on denying that Katy and Russell are breaking up. I don't really care either way—but they are doing alot of the things celebs do when they're breaking up. Spending the holidays apart, not wearing a wedding ring when you know cameras will be camped out, looking…

Helpful Hints for Kelly Clarkson: Don't ever say anything once said by Privilege Denying Dude [knowyourmeme.com]

It's hard to describe how upset I get about non-Q-tip Q-tips, especially those ones with the blue, plasticky middle part. They don't stay stiff. The second you try to leverage them against your ear, they bend. Hideous.

My sister is registered for a $435 breast bump, and Mr. Slowtraincoming was mildly horrified. I pointed out to him that (a) our wedding registry had a $1000 couch on it. Not because we expected anyone to buy it for us, but because Crate & Barrel gives you 10% off any item you want to buy yourself off your registry. …

Can we talk about how much I love Gaga's nose? Say what you will about her, but I love that she left it alone.