There’s a Hotline Bling joke in there somewhere, and I’m sad that I can’t figure out what it is.

This is excellent.

*Jordan Catalano

My nursing home better have all the latest gaming systems or I’ll stage a bathing strike.

That’s a relief! Still not googling though.

Given the existence of things like placenta eating, I honestly can’t tell whether or not you’re kidding. I am afraid to google.

That’s for damned sure.

A family friend who is expecting her first child was recently talking about how she wishes she could raise her kid in the ‘50's because it was such an innocent time. I just shook my head and walked away, because I was on vacation and didn’t want to give headspace to that kind of ignorance.

I am sorry for your loss, and I am so sorry that happened to your grandma. Things like DNR orders are so essential to human dignity.

I really dislike how the elderly are often infantilized. My grandma lived through the great depression, major wars, the sexual revolution, and so much else. Yet her nursing home’s sing alongs were always hymns and stuff. That shit wasn’t coming out of her radio when she lived on her own.

This is definitely a lawsuit worthy tragedy.

Eating meat only 1-2 times a week has been, for me an excellent compromise because I know that if I commit to 100% vegetarianism I will fail.

I’ve become more focused on seasonal, local, fruit as well. It just hit me one day that eating an apple that had been shipped from Australia to Massachusetts was just weird. I make an exception for tropical fruits such as bananas though, although I do limit them more than I used to.

The cool thing about asparagus is that it comes with a free and surprisingly high quality rubber band.

I think masturbating is the one thing I don’t have a song for. Although with my brain, it’s probably inevitable.

My mind has inexplicably created 3 songs about how wonderful I am. Yet I also have crippling social anxiety. My brain’s inner workings are just so baffling.

Just show this post to your boss, and you will immediately get a promotion and hefty raise.

I’ll admit that if this happened to me, a small, petty part of me would be also be annoyed with the baby.

Thank you! That is adorable.

My mom has this habit of trying a bite from me or my dad then if she likes it she will exclaim that all present must try it. Yes, she offers OTHER PEOPLE’S FOOD. My dad still tells the sad tale of a picnic with friends where she tried his snickerdoodle cookie after he’d had a single bite, then offered it around until…