Hey Rog,

You can CAN two sodas a day if you open your own low-efficiency soda factory!

Here's the thing (and forgive me, this is long, and please don't think it's attacking you because I'm not trying to do that—I think we want the same things but see different ways of how it realistically can happen): Women's media groups have been trying for decades to make this happen. They try to be a voice for the…

"Better after there is completely damning evidence released that will destroy our brand than never."

Still on sale, ladies:

I'm not sure why Phil is hating on ISIS so much. They really seem like his kind of people.

It's a summer suit! What don't people understand about that? He's not a goddamn funeral director.

Actually, I kind of agree with Prudence here. She's in a monogamous marriage to a man. They are not opening it up, apparently, to include others. Marriage presumably means forever. Unless the topic came up of its own accord, what would be the point of making an announcement?

...Isn't all diarrhea accidental?

Dear Black People,

If I started a white girl cult, pumpkin spice lattes would be our kool-aid.

I stand with you in adverbial love. I apologize to 'adverb' for using it adjectivally. Adjective, I just did you a favor by using you adverbially.

Yeah, their behavior makes MIAs super bowl finger seem all the more appropriate.

I think I got more cat calls between 11-15 than between 15-29 (after that I became an old crone invisible to men, fortunately!). Which proves men are pretty much pedos and ew ew gross.

Not only did Terrell Pryor get 5 games for the memorabilia and tattoos situation... but he got suspended for something he did (not criminal) while in college! Goodell said it was to 'protect the shield'. Orlando Scandrick, a first time offender, took MDMA on vacation in Mexico (no arrest, no charges), failed a drug…

...and the announcement of the new penalty structure will be conveniently timed just before the start of, "Buy Pink NFL merchandise" month.

Stoned people love crafting. Trust.

Like they probably move your bookmark back a few pages so that you're confused but only for a little

Anyone else automatically start doing them the moment they see the word kegel? It's like Pavlov's vagina.