WHERE IS JASPER???

Billy Corgan is a douchenozzle, but me being a child of the 90s, I was a huge Smashing Pumpkins fan. Their top 5: 1979, Tonight Tonight, Today, Zero, and Cherub Rock. Unassailable.

There was a conversation on deadspin yesterday about which band would be considered the best band of all time IF you only looked at their top five songs. Top five was considered subjective, so you chould choose any five you wished. Rather than comment there (where I’m still in the greys) I’m copying the concept here.…

I have this local band’s cd—nobody here has heard of them, I’m sure—and in one of the songs the drummer does a snare roll that lasts for like 90 seconds during one of the verses. As it finishes the lead singer lets out this yelping hysterical laugh, and seems to be impressed and shocked by what just happened. It is so…

I think you missed the point of the article. Re-read the intro.

I don’t know today’s developments, but last I heard the producer/financier of the picture is suing and attempting to bar the film from premiering at Cannes.

I’m aware of that. Not sure if the filmmakers were. The factual inaccuracy of that part of the scene doesn’t ruin it a bit for me.

National Lampoon’s Las Vegas Vacation is unarguably the worst of all the Vacation Movies....just plain awful. But the scene where a desperate Clark Griswold takes the last of his family’s savings to Cousin Eddie’s “cheapo” casino is hilarious. Here, Clark plays such notable casino games as Rock Scissors Paper, War,…

Does anyone in Philadelphia ever call their city “Phila”? I plead ignorance.

“tighten my nightsack” is my favorite malapropism of all time.

Soccer should just be banned, really.

I once said taco chip on accident and felt dumb for days afterwards. True story.

The Sam and Diane slap fest that turned into a kiss was deeply messed up to me. Like he hits her 10 times and then she falls in love with him? wild.

Every teen/high school comedy involves a raging kegger, where upwards of 200 people show up at someone’s house whose parents have gone off to France or whatever for the weekend. I don’t know if anyone in my high school ever had a party like the ones depicted in the movies, but if they did I never heard about them.

I wish I had taken more archival courses in library school. My career trajectory would’ve been more satisfying, I think.

“He’ll go deep” is perfection. Not laugh out loud funny, but completely nails the image.

Three days later, I have the question: They couldn’t find a fucking bed for Mike in that giant house? Why does he have to go back to his truck to sleep?

I figured this would be bad. I loved the original back in the day, but none of their subsequent offerings really lived up to the troupe’s early promise.

So, that was the tour where they just played whatever songs the audience would request, right? I don’t remember anything about the opening acts. I do remember I made Travis turn his monitor amp around because I couldn’t hear the vocals well enough. God what a piece of work I was.

I think I also saw them open for the plan.