I’m at work so I can’t listen to the video, but if I’m understanding correctly the “chang” part should sorta rhyme with the “Pyeong” part, right?

I know Gillibrand had noble intentions, but I can’t avoid the conclusion that it was a self destructive act, borne from emotion more than strategy. In this political climate, I’d say the most unethical in modern history, to coax one of the more valiant champions of women’s rights, not to mention the senator who caught…

They do?

Are you saying that she thought Aziz Ansari might assault or murder her if she said she didn’t want to have sex with him? I saw nothing in her account of the evening that indicated that possibility ever crossed her mind.

I don’t think it’s quibbling to draw a distinction between what is actually assault and an action that isn’t.

We really need to stop with that “do you know how many women are killed if they say no“ shit. It’s fearmongering. how about how about we tell women to use their best judgement? Why must we scare women into fearing men?

I deeply resent the argument that asks why a woman doesn’t leave a situation like this is victim blaming. This was not a case where she was threatened or intimidated. It was an evening where she felt uncomfortable with the sexual activity she was actively participating in, and did not stand up for herself and say no…

Umm No. Men should learn/listen to non-verbal cues.

“I’m a progressive and I’m agreeing with some fucked up conservatives on some of this, but the radical feminists I work with got me nodding in the affirmative as well.”

I think that’s a (deliberate?) misreading of Weiss’ piece.

The story was told so poorly that it’s hard to say, but I think your take may make the most sense.

My takeaway? Old time views on courtship and pursuit cannot co-exist with modern feminism. Do away with “non-verbal cues.” Millennial women cannot harp on affirmative consent and then say “But I gave you non-verbal cues.” Can’t have it both ways.

I am a straight black male and I come to this website often to get more perspective, learn, etc on all things women and the problems they must deal with. I find the takes on this site helpful, more often than not.

It’s difficult to effectively communicate that I believe Grace, I think the #metoo and #timesup movements are not working as well as the should be, and that I don’t think Ansari is a predator in the sense of the men who’ve been called out before him.

You’re right. I’m an idiot. I’m an assault survivor (stranger rape) and a moron. This story minimizes real assault. I’ve also fought a guy off with a broken bottle who was restraining me (on a separate occasion) and attempting to get me to suck him off. Guess I’m just sheltered like that.

Going to someone’s place does not mean you consent to any and all sexual acts following your arrival there, and this idea is damaging as fuck.

If you consent to vaginal sex but not to anal sex, but someone has anal sex with you anyway, when you didn’t consent to it, would you say “Oh but I went back to their place so…

Exactly my thoughts. The humiliation factor made my skin crawl to read.

“present Grace’s story for what it is—a starting point to discuss the ways consent can feel blurring, no matter how clear we might wish it were, and our lack of language to describe this”

This is a valuable conversation and could have occurred in a better written piece. I also think a discussion about the blurred…

Just here for the comments: