Wolf of Wall St. is a lot like the French film Man Bites Dog or Funny Games in that it’s a Rorschach test for the audience. When you watch Wolf of Wall St., do you see a desirable lifestyle? Do you realize you’re one of the marks sitting in those chairs in the final scene?

They almost always have a valid moral center, though I’m open to debate about Wolf of Wall Street on that point.

Casino was Goodfellas 2: The Suffering, and not much more. De Niro plays a romantically-delusional business robot (rather than the charismatic, go-getter Henry Hill), Sharon Stone a sociopathic hustler from the first scene (rather than the impressionable, wide-eyed Karen) and Joe Pesci? Exactly the same character. The…

I was hoping the chair ump would get down and throw their hand up like a yellow card, but that wouldn’t be very realistic satire.

You might want to consider just withdrawing the article.

The thing is that he’s talented, not quality. Quality would be a guy like Capela who dunks everything and virtually never takes an inefficient shot. Talent would be a guy like Cousins who looks pretty good at a whole bunch of really inefficient shot types.

Is Morey really that good? He bet on James Harden (but there were a lot of us saying that he would be excellent as the primary shooter, despite virtually no one but the most ardent OKC fanbois saying he’d be a future MVP) and that panned out. He drafted an unknown Capela and he turned out to be a championship-level…

And he was overrated to begin with. A good volume scorer, a physical defender (when he cared), but basically the ‘09 Carmelo Anthony of the PF/C cohort. Lots of buckets, but on lots of shot attempts.

The Rockets were a Chris Paul injury from beating the full-strength Warriors two months ago. Are you serious with this shit? You’ve been spending too much time on r/nba.

Carmelo had, like, the 4th-worst BPM of all rotation players last year. Not All-NBA players. Not starters. Rotation players. That Morey is actually thinking about signing him is a sign from the heavens that he’s an idiot, and only has succeeded by being opportunistic (Harden) and lucky (Capela).

But they’re just kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the subtext was there but I appreciate you

Less than an oz.? What are you, a toddler?

Less than an oz.? What are you, a toddler?

No, no — because Jordan said so. Just like how Putin said he didn’t meddle, so it didn’t happen.

Cetaphil bar soap is awesome, fuck off

Simmons can’t shoot and yet... and yet...

It Makes You Think That They Might Type All Of Their Sentences Like This

If you have $500M, any city is fun. Except Phoenix.

They were a 52-win team without Fultz, and he has all of the leverage to take player options to ensure that he won’t be tied to another star player’s health. Would you rather bank your future on Ball, Ingram and Kuzma? There’s not a player among them that is even close to Simmons, much less Embiid. They’re looking…

The dumbest part of him going to the Lakers is that the Sixers were right there with two legitimate superstars under the age of 24 who could have carried him through the regular season and landed him in the Finals for another three years. There’s only one team in the East that could compete with a starting five of…