The Raptors have an SRS of like, 8. There are only 3 or 4 teams in league history who have had an SRS that high and missed the Finals. It’s going to take ‘09 Playoffs Bron to bring them down. Too deep. Their bench gives you no relief.

You’re still a fucking retard for being outraged for not knowing what a 2-for-1 is.  

A 2-for-1 is when a team tries to leverage the game and shot clocks to receive two scoring possessions at the end of a quarter.

$2 for a cocktail, yes. $2 for a vodka soda is fucking absurd.

You have to be a total retard to buy a J. Crew Factory shirt at 95% “retail” price to get a free one. Their shirts are usually marked down 50% to begin with, because they were never sold for full price as it is.

You have to be a total retard to buy a J. Crew Factory shirt at 95% “retail” price to get a free one. Their shirts…

Was Jovan Belcher cremated? If so, he beat Thomas to the punch.

Good. Fuck that pig.

There is nothing I want more than a weekly sports show where the media’s biggest trolls have to read their dismissive or critical sports “analysis” in front of a camera and then play 4 on 4 against even the NBA’s worst players. Watching Whitlock have a coronary while being posterized by Chandler Parsons would make my…

you know I’m gonna send it

get that basic-ass pinot grig out of my face

Some people are greedy for their own money, especially young, materialistic men. Imagine how many guys have criticized him for being a daddy’s-money rich boy.

Their Pythag wins are 36-23. Their actual wins: 35-24. If anything, they’re underperforming given their MOV and SRS.

Who gives a fuck about a fake“streak?” They’re 0-3 in their last 3 and 1-3 in their last 4. Hell, they’re 35 of their last 59! Where do you want to set your arbitrary endpoints today?

They’ve also lost 9 of 16, because you chose an arbitrary endpoint to make a shitty argument.

Then there’s this: the conference imbalance isn’t quite what it was even a couple seasons ago.

He’s got a positive DBPM, but anecdotally, he’s literally teh worsttttt, so he’s not really a good defender. Joe Morgan, is that you????

Jokic as a second rounder and Bennett as a #1 overall should be a reminder that NBA teams have no fucking idea what they’re doing in the draft. Some teams (Spurs, Celtics, Warriors) seem to have a better idea, but everyone whiffed on Jokic. That’s a sign.

You loved your religion, but it detested you. I’m sorry you had to go through this, but you should have read the writing on the wall a long time ago.

If Oubre has not already surpassed DeAndre Jordan’s value, not as an asset, but as an actual basketball player (and he might have!), then there is no doubt at all that he will have done so by this time next season.

Thank god for this thinkpiece. I wasn’t sure what to think about this most recent display of entertainment, but now I know: it is like bad breakup sex. Thanks so much.