I don’t think you can really give Elway credit for trying to shoot himself in the dick but only hitting his foot.

When I was younger my dad used to cut my hair because with 4 sons he wasn’t paying for all of us to go to the barbershop.

Alternatively “I like all kinds of music.”

Nah, nigga you don’t. Just say Tom Petty and stop soft shoeing around the subject.

It’s unhinged and embarrassing for the country when Don Lemon is the one showing gravitas and insight.

I know ESPN has turned the LLWS into a too-slick, commercial product that capitalizes on the preciousness of children playing a game and spends a little too long on the sobbing faces of kids who lose, but last night the Connecticut team, down 5-2 to Walla Walla, Wash., in the fourth, scored eight runs and ran away…

The other week, I got into a shouting match with Queen King Beauregard’s mother on this very topic. The funny thing is, two of QKB’s siblings are on welfare and a third was jobless until he went to jail — QKB’s mom is about the last person to be complaining about non-whites abusing welfare.

Oh what the fuck.

See I wanted to say no but really there are only 3 people at work I genuinely enjoy and I could never speak to the rest again and be happy.

Or go after some lower-hanging fruit:

Did you just assume their gender?

Um... One of those “young, black, women” has an enviable beard.

Seriously?

I actually have one of them Aunt Bettys. She does not partake in whiteness.

Today? Of all days? Lemme slap your coworkers.

I hate the Penguins as much as the next decent person, but goddammit, Phil Kessel is a national treasure.

Since when does the FBI convince white kids to get into their fake bomb vans?

I love this picture. I realize it only captures a moment in time, but still. Long looks casual, almost relaxed as he not only stands his ground, but looks like he’s moving the confrontation back in the direct of the white fascists. And then the placement of the pot-bellied pig in black boots weakly waving his flag on…

Ron Oyster cracker? I mean,it’s exactly how an oyster cracker would “protest”. By sinking to the bottom of the soup and falling apart and then saying a silent prayer without anyone noticing.

Also because he demanded to play for the Raiders. He wasn’t coming out of retirement without that. Dude bleeds Oakland.