I have vaginismus, and have had it forever. For me, it's probably almost completely related to my gender dysphoria, and I think that if I weren't so mucked up about that, I'd probably be fine. Who knows? I sure talk about it a lot in relationships, though.

That's what I think, too! I think that a lot of people really like the idea that a partner would know just what they like and can bring them to orgasm with no effort. I think a lot of women, in particular, feel self-conscious during sex and asking for particular things to be done, because then they feel like a…

There aren't many of us, but we're out there! :D

Have you ever tried pineapple and onion pizza? It sounds terrible, but then people try it, and... most of them like it.

But they do have multiethnic options! Complete with food names for skin colors! And customizable nails! You can satisfy your ankle-foot-fucking fetish however you like, it seems.

I apologize - I tried to make it clear that this wasn't a criticism aimed at you in any way. Your project is just fine as-is (not that you need my approval, just to clarify what I meant), and it's not your responsibility to tailor your project to everyone else's opinions. My comment was meant more at the reaction to…

I'm really glad that she's made clear that this is something she's doing for herself, and I very sincerely wish her the best of luck, but I have to admit that I get prickly at the idea. I am in no way saying that this blogger's personal project is wrong, that she should have to accept a diminished return on her…

I don't get the "men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses" thing, either. I've never been under the impression that my glasses are the reason men don't hit on me (I think it's the the everything else and possibly my loud, abrasive personality that I'm trying to tone down). There are tons of guys who like that…

WHY DON'T YOU LIKE MY FANFICTION ABOUT US

I agree. I would feel very uncomfortable if someone were asking these questions when I first met them. It would seem like forcing things. It's like when someone I don't know asks me what I'm "passionate" about. No, thank you, person I barely know. I don't even know how to answer that question with someone I know…

I agree! I think that we should be more clear about things with one another, especially when you don't know each other well. It can take a lot of nervousness off the table if someone says something like, "I don't want you to do X, but I do want Y," because you can know what's expected.

Yeah. I know it seems a bit strange, but we were friends for about a year before it happened, and after nearly a year of me sniping at him and a few arguments about it, I got an apology that made all the difference. We had a really long talk, and for me, it was enough to let go of the past. I'm not saying anyone…

That is fucking awful. I am so damn sorry you had to deal with that, and apparently had to socialize with them afterwards. I can't even imagine. I wish I could say something more helpful, but I know there's really nothing that changes anything. I hope you aren't stuck with people like that anymore, at the very…

I agree with you. I think that many people, men and women alike, think that rape is the "jump out of the bushes" kind, like you said, and the type of thing that happened to me isn't "real" rape. It's some other kind of "lesser" rape, you know? Some people really struggle to understand why what happened was even…

Holy shit! That's horrible! I hope you had support afterwards and are doing well now.

I think you have an extremely good point there. Since women do tend to be socialized to talk above all else about feelings, wants, etc., even in friendship context, maybe men, who are socialized to not talk about feelings and wants, don't necessarily recognize the importance of what's being said. Words are "just…

Thank you! It is important, and it's really hard to separate out the messages and ideas we get about who to believe and why. Like I said, I got lucky in that someone who hurt me was also someone who really thought about what I said and our unusual circumstances forced us to deal with something I probably never would…

Wow, thank you! I'm glad that the person who hurt me was, at heart, not a bad person. It took us a while to work it out, but in the end, he really listened to me and was able to apologize in a way that meant something to me.

Aww, thank you! I know my experience isn't unique (despite my typos saying that it was, haha), and I think that this is the kind of attitude people are more likely to encounter on what "consent" really means.

This is exactly how I got raped. I was hooking up with a friend of mine. I have vaginismus and a whole fun host of issues (and at the time, even a positive HIV test, which he knew about. It was a false positive, but he didn't know that at the time), I said no penetrative intercourse.