Hot take: Religious people are hypocrites. They don’t care about things like prayers or following the word of God.  

Man, he’ll do anything to get out of going to Trump’s inauguration.

Trump supporters have been interviewed about why they were voting for him.

The gap between Obama, a true scholar, a man of unwavering integrity, hope, a profound sense of what the word justice means, (see his nonviolent crime drug related charges pardons) and then the comparison to the vile filthy, racist, mysoginist, that makes a living off shorting anyone and everybody that he ever met.

And in situations where laughter is inappropriate (such as racist/homophobic/etc jokes), the best alternative is to stare blankly and say, “I’m sorry, I don’t think I understand the joke. Can you explain it to me?”

It’s too soon for Thoughts & Prayers™, we’re still at step one which is Blame Radical Islamic Terrorism™ (but only if the guy isn’t white).

A homunculus crafted out of old jack-o-lanters and blonde merkins.

That is unless you are referring to him being owned by Russia. In that case it’s appropriate to call him red..

I could’ve sworn he was red in an Enquirer photo I saw. (AKA Trumpussy’s Weekly World News).

What about all the orange tomato hybrids, like summer cider?

“I’m an adult wearing a football jersey! You’re wearing a t-shirt from a team that my team doesn’t like!”

Don’t be a pushy douchebag should be a part of every parents’ lessons to their teenage boys haha. It sounds like your kids are really lucky to have you.

I’ve seen drunken frat boys in a bar fight while blowing a .30 with better head movement than Rousey.

Agreed. We need to start separating the terms “anti-Semitism” from “anti-Zionism.”

Or how you must protect the children but only until they need protection in the form of government aid. The other day I saw someone pull the “abortion is murder” argument and then when someone pointed it that no abortion means children who need welfare support, he said “it’s not my responsibility to pay for your…

We really should start spreading rumors in China about the healing properties of Republicans.

That’s not egg...

I can say with 100% certainty that this is not true.

Very few will get it, but nice work , take your star

huevos!