Well, the appropriate thing for jokes to be is funny, so you draw your own conclusions.

Here's another clue for you all:

The first and undoubtedly last time I am jealous of people in Alabama.

This simulation theory at least gives me hope that at some point Graham Chapman's Colonel character will just wander into reality and say, "Alright, stop this right now! This simulation has gotten entirely too silly!"

GOD is dead.

I do hate a tall toilet.

I think they've figured it out: the "new" Nintendo console is actually just an old SNES with a coating of cheese-like substance on top of it.

People have also told me he's a child molester. Now I don't know this, but these people, these are good people, smart people. I trust these people. So when they tell me this, I have to wonder. I'm not saying he is, but just listen to some of the things he says about his own daughter. I mean, do you have to be a…

Semprini?

I'm pretty sure "Ben Affleck rules as the Batman" is code for, "C'mon Benny buddy. You finally dumped that uptight bitch so we can start to hang again, and maybe show up in one of my movies? Please? Johnny Depp just ain't gonna cut it anymore. People seem to have turned on him for some reason."

It's discovered the principal has inoperable rectal cancer, which makes them realize they really loved each other all along. Then there's a very tasteful sex scene, the principal dies, and there's a flash-forward 40 years where the student is now the principal himself, who also gets rectal cancer, and then it's…

I almost want to hijack a theater showing this and substitute a print of Lucas instead.

I'm sure he's heel-deep in all that sweet low-rated basic cable cash.

A Trilateral Production

You know, every once and a while one of them blindly stumbles backward into a good idea…

"I only work with the smartest, most informed, most plugged-in yes men in the business."

Nope. This has already been covered. He will only lose a rigged election. He has invested so much in building his own reality; nothing as trivial as the rejection of the better part (in every sense of the term) of the nation can put a dent in that.

"That's just what I had heard," he said with a shrug.

He has respect for them; they just have no respect for themselves.

UGH. White Castle?