The Andy Dalton-led Bengals are playing the Houston Texans tonight. This is going to set an even lower bar for atrocious Thursday night games. This would be a garbage game even on a Sunday afternoon. Watch literally anything else tonight. Play a video game. Read a book. Write a book. Masturbate for an hour or four…

Stephanie looks like she’s wearing a subway map for her vagina.

If you freeze your credit, then anyone who wants to use your credit to open an account with need a special PIN number.

My dad regularly chastises me for not being “ladylike.” I’ve asked him multiple times for the term for when men need to sit down, shut up, and look attractive. He won’t tell me!!

If he didn’t run while being black this wouldn’t have been an issue. While we’re at it, why did he choose to be black anyway? He should take some responsibility for his actions.

—Everyone who ever loaned money to Ric Flair

Ah yes, Rick Flair. I remember his classic matches with Hank Hogan and Andrew the Really Tall Guy.

Thank you for this.

That’s the central issue: a lot of these people at the top do work hard, and they do overcome obstacles, and they are fairly bright. And our society does say, over and over and over again, that it rewards hard work, and grit, and intelligence. Which makes it really, really easy for them to justify their position on…

How about “don’t drive high”?

Also, don’t drive stoned.

Or, just don’t do it.

If i hear one more person say “driving high makes me drive safer” I’m gonna break their arms

Is it weird that I think it’s because he’s about to get a job in the Trump Administration?

In no meritocracy does a guy who was drafted in the sixth round of the 2014 draft and has never thrown a pass in a regular-season game get a job over someone like Kaepernick.

Colin Kaepernick doesn’t have a job because he won’t stand.

Whereas former ECW champ Shane Douglas also commented “Sexy Star will never set foot in my Foot Locker.”

I think it was more to bag on the Jets than anything.

Track: The Message | Artist: Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five | Album: The Message

That over the top rope Hurricanrana was beautiful.