I’d love to:

I’d like to but my office has a pretty firm ‘pants on’ dress code.

If men got pregnant, this law would make it a crime for anyone to tell anyone else about an abortion, because Men deserve their privacy.

Well, we know what happens when someone tries to tell Kobe “No”...

If I had to die, being blown to death would pretty much be at the top of my list.

It’s such a Stupidly cheesy name!! These guys are from la, basically. I can’t believe they thought this name would play out here. The idea of being a big baller was dumb 20 years ago.

The immediate change of tone in his voice when he realizes who she is.

“Um, you know, Mamba mentality,” Ball said. “Thought I’d switch it up.”

Reasonable people don’t accept checks for $100 million, because wire transfers.

“First of all let me say that the only reason I terrorized your family is because you people are evil and want to destroy America. It was nothing personal. Secondly, I want to thank you for settling this in a real court, and not reverting to that Creeping Sharia Law you folks love so much. And thirdly, I just want to…

Yea, like how he bragged in the press conference yesterday he had a $100 million check in his backpack like it was loose change. “I have so much $$$ I forgot to deposit this!” Good job dope. Even if you were getting 1% return on that $100 million, you just missed out on $1 Million in interest. Yay, you!?

Seems like he’s just setting himself up for a run at the presidency.

his remarks as quoted above show at least a hint of self-awareness

That ... is a reasonable response. I hope that I’m right and you’re wrong, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the other way around.

No sympathy for this guy, but it’s interesting that his remarks as quoted above show at least a hint of self-awareness. Let’s hope he resolves to be a better person, though I won’t exactly be holding my breath on that one.

Don’t Be A Menace To San Francisco While Splatting Your Hip In The Hood

Condition has been downgraded to Gnarly

Ugh, I’m pretty sure this episode is the one that churned my stomach. I have seen very little of the Kardashian Collection of E! programs but somehow I did stumble across an episode early on that made me hate Kris Jenner with a passion. Jenner booked a Playboy shoot then told Kim who objected repeatedly and kept…

I read it as she signed DNR.

An NDA cannot stop someone from reporting a crime.