All right Savage Dik (and the rest of you!) I would like the opinions of my fellow AV Clubbers about exactly how terrible I am as a person.

I'm down near Wilson and figured I'd have to drive to Raleigh to have any chance to see it. But I was really worried we wouldn't have it anywhere near us at all.

God, I forgot how much I love to hate-read these things, and I skipped all of S4. This is going to be good.

Wait, are you using that right?

"Do you get kickbacks from Big Buzzkill?"

Have you watched the commentary? There's a line where Joel asks Dan if the show actually takes place in Colorado and he replies with something like "Yeah, well, we've signed things that say it's in Colorado, so we're definitely in Colorado."

Definitely an A. That's my jam.

You can't catch enough of the nuances to make an intelligent comment until you've seen it at least twice.

It's good to know that even when you've been made to look ridiculous, you can still find a tiny little crumb of a point where you're right and use it as a launching point to feel unjustifiably smug.

Not until I unleash my horde of endocervical nanobots, at least!

Right, but that's why it's predicated on an 'if.' If the husband isn't okay with it, let it lie for long enough to get the idea out of the back of his head and then, y'know, join a squash game or something.

If he is married, find out if his spouse has stopped having sex with him, because you might be able to get at him anyway.

Yes, but expecting your significant other to forgo one of life's most basic drives because you're 'over it' is pretty selfish in its own regard, so I can see where Dan's coming from.

If a dude was kinda racist in a fairly benign way toward me but also let me fuck the shit out of his wife in front of him, I'd probably stick around too.

The best plan, of course, is to wait until you have a moment alone, pull out your cock, and gesture toward it. While it's optional, I highly recommend adding "Eh? Ehhhhhhh?" in an excited and encouraging tone.

"I don't find that terribly respectful, and here's another alternative."

I really feel like you've still completely missed the link to the other article, where caspiancomic responded to you in a civil manner and you continued to act like a condescending jag who kept harping on about how video games are just for the kids.

I can see where Dan's coming from, at least. There are very few LTRs where there isn't some sort of lie going on regarding something that one person wants to do and the other one doesn't, and if you're not having sex, then you're not exposing your partner to an STI or anything else.

Well, the situation is wanting to eat come out of a pussy, so that's not much of a solution.

I can't even.