There may not be that much to squirrel away. After Ivana’s big bonanza, Dump made sure to have a strong pre-nup with Marla and also made sure to divorce her before one of the “time served” clauses took effect. Certainly she’s not hurting or piling up student loan debt. But whatever estate plans he’s set up for his…

During my first quarter of college, there were a few weeks when it seemed like everyone had gastroenteritis. Classes were cancelled, bathroom lines were miserable, etc. (They found out later that there was a dead body in the reservoir.) During this time, I went to the infirmary to get my birth control pills. The…

Picky eaters.  If a guy won’t even taste something because he doesn’t “like how it looks,” I suspect that he’ll have severe sexual hang-ups.  I also can’t think of a man who won’t eat spicy food as a real man.

I feel the same way about the name Todd.

Totally relate. I went on a blind date and the guy showed up with one of those long stem roses wrapped in plastic. I carried it by the stem, flower pointing down, for the rest of the evening, and still felt stupid walking around with it.  

When I was in junior high school, our gym teacher told us about three girls who went blind because they shared mascara. I figured shared mascara must be super, super full of germs, considering how gross the locker room was that they expected us to use.

Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser. I use it to wash my face and even to take off eye make-up.  Cheaper than make-up remover, doesn’t dry my skin and makes it feel clean and soft.

Two of my very closest friends, ex-boyfriends whom I stayed good friends with, were killed by cigarettes. The other day I saw the nice man from the grocery store having a cigarette. I stopped and lectured him (in a nice way.) I don’t care about propriety. If I see someone I like who is smoking, I will talk to…

Or call them out on their preferred drink — Fanta Orange soda.

I lived in Midtown Atlanta for a short time and my landlords were a young, fun, male gay couple who frequented flea markets.  They sort of adopted me as their little sister. They were always bringing me surprises. (A reversible jacket with hideous green and red striped lining, which I wore to death.  A pair of…

Nice! From the understanding significant other to the great friends and fab car.  Happy birthday to you!

When I got lasik in 2001, I had been wearing hard and gas permeable contact lenses for 25 years. (Yes, I’m old.) I was told I couldn’t wear my contacts for a month prior to surgery in order to let my eyes go back to their normal state. I believe nowadays the thinking is to let them rest one week for every year…

When I was a young copywriter at a small ad agency, they teamed me up with an “art director” who was really more of a graphic designer. He had zero ideas and literally wouldn’t get started on anything until I came up with the concept and wrote the copy.  I used to refer to him as Dim Jim.  Years later, I felt a…

Yes, but how many of those bibles are actually read, and how many are stolen, hollowed out, and used to hide a stash?  (I know of at least one.)

I’m sure my opinion will be pretty unpopular, but here goes. There is no law saying you have to keep this baby. There are thousands of people who desperately want children, and an available newborn would truly mean the world to someone who has hoped and prayed and yearned for a child. You have nurtured this child…

No mention of the time-honored method of looking slimmer on your wedding day — make sure all of your bridesmaids are fatter than you. Problem solved.

I had a cousin who was not that great looking and always broke, but he never had a problem finding girlfriends. He told me, “A lot of people treat dating like it’s a job, with an agenda. I don’t think of it that way.  I just like to go out, meet someone new, hopefully have fun, plus there’s a chance I might get…

Most of the men I dated when I was single were 10 to 20 years older than me. It was not a “daddy” thing. These were sexy older men and I was truly attracted to them. (For one thing, an older man’s skin feels so much nicer.) They liked being in a teacher role and I liked learning from them. When I finally did…

Who?

Getting a legislated safety feature in cars takes time, money, and would add to the cost of cars for all of us, including those of us who are childfree. Why not make carseats with sensors that have a remote that attaches to the dashboard?  And maybe also an app indicator on the phone?