I feel like the only thing you got right was counting to three successfully.

I think you’re underrating “Hawaiian Tebow.” Sneaky good burn there.

The woman who’s alt-country band and acting thing flamed out in LA, but feels just right in a third-floor open mic on Broadway.

The blonde-haired, blue eyed girl who lists her ethnicity as “Native American”

That’s so preferable to reality. Well done.

After their bassist Cliff Burton died on a European Tour, the band decided to call it quits, as they couldn’t see a future without Cliff. Just like what happened to Led Zeppelin.

I remember these guys! Whatever happened to them? After ‘..and justice for all’ I lost track of them.

Just wait until they release the Challenger SRT Namaste Edition!

Shocking. I always figured guys who bought Dodge Demons were totally zen and would only go to tracks after journaling their feelings and embracing their inner children, and then only to help others there self-actualize their potential. This comes as a great surprise.

Great comment! This is why I don’t pay for Deadspin!

Putting this up again, because it’s still timely

Yeah, the kid going to a misogynist rally straight out of The Handmaid’s Tale with a MAGA hat and that obnoxious smirk, followed by filing numerous nuisance lawsuits demanding hundreds of millions of dollars in “emotional compensation” against every news organization their asshole family could think of to the left of…

Missed opportunity to have a Bring Out Your Dead night and tie it in with Jerry Garcia’s birthday! 

+1 dead horse, beaten

I know you’re just teasing him, but Elway has proven time and again that he’s the glue that holds this team together. 

Some of them got slammed into column A; some into column B.

“And Suzy died so bravely, filming the very tsunami that took her from us”

Design meeting:

“What should the failure mode be for the wave generator?”
“Nothing, it should just die quietly and stop functioning.”
“We could do that. Or.. and hear me out on this one...”

What about the droid attack on the wookies? It’s a system we cannot afford to lose, and yet you chose to write about this particular tragedy instead.