As a Royals fan I love Don Denkinger. He’s one of their all time greats.

It absolutely debunks the argument. Barnwell states as much in both of those quotes:

More like put him on cuffs, because he robbed Ottawa.

“I see you’re trying to turn the ball over. Would you like some help?”

“Oh, my neck is one gargantuan monkey fist.”

Nathan Peterman is a landfill full of Microsoft Bob CDs that gained self-awareness and took human form.

Yeah, but shouldn’t we wait to see how much Poise(TM) he has before we pass judgment?

I can do that! Thanks!

Whelp, I’m going with the NASCAR squad, mostly because banning Senna for life is (in many religious traditions) metaphysically impossible and Schumacher...well, it seems a little superfluous.

Looks like the graphics got alot better in recent years!

“It’s not my job to do that!” may have worked at Penn State, but this is the NFL, Bill.

Ninety percent of Belichick’s success is just showing up against guys like this, because the league is full of them.

If only the Texan’s were as defensive as their coach, they might’ve won.

“Smart move. You can cash in those unused timeouts at the end of the season for boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts.” - Andy Reid

The performance reminded me of this

On the one hand, Nathan Peterman sucks at football.

All the time in regards to poor people, the message isn’t much different either, the numbers are just all the lower, “Shut up and be happy you’re even allowed to have that subsistence wage, you scum!”

Trying to think where else in American society the question “Whoa, hey, haven’t you made enough money?” is taken seriously. Drawing a blank.

I suggest dipping them in Velveeta to act as a binding agent.