This is so laughably wrong it's not even being entertained as a legitimate thought by anyone who reads it. Fuck off to Brietbart or some other hellhole corner of the internet.

Imagine that, a man who was banned from all US banks for defaulting on his massive loans is actually incredibly corrupt. Who’d have thought!

Yeah that makes so much more sense than admitting that a man who has no experience in politics has zero idea what he is doing and has broke the law too many times to count. Why do you defend such a piece of shit? Why is it so hard to admit that he is using the office for personal gain and that maybe a corrupt…

You’re not an intelligent person and nobody values anything you have to say.

It’s Barron.

Bill Barr shows up in the first paragraph! That’s really telling. Is the coverup worse than the crime?

Beer Money Sign Man is cool but I still prefer Blood Sugar Sex Magik

This story is bigger in Central Iowa today than the impeachment story. I’m not even fucking kidding.

Pffffft. It’s just locker room talk, snowflakes!

For all the trolls bleating about the supposed lack of an “explicit quid pro quo,” it’s right there in the middle of the fucking call:

I’m fully enjoying this because I’ve had so little to enjoy that my joy barometer is broken and this is what happiness and hope feels like now.

Motherfuckers are playing checkers but they imprisoned the black pieces and tried to deport the red pieces

More like 1 dimensional Candyland.

God, I wish I could fully enjoy this. I wish I could revel in this utter stupidity and incompetence and absurdity. I wish I could just bathe in the schadenfreude without that pessimistic voice in the back of my head staring out the window distractedly and softly whispering, “none of this matters, you know.”

My god. MY GOD. THESE FUCKING IDIOTS.

Anyone still wanna go with the “their playing 4-dimensional chess” angle?

Who here has not fielded a frantic call from an older relative asking how to “unsend” an email?

I feel like that means it’s making them extra nervous. So I guess that’s good or at least funny.

The bad faith trolls are out in full force today. I like the narrative “Nancy wouldn’t have done anything if Trump asked for dirt on Bernie!”. The Splinter comment section is a dumpster fire today.

Mr. Giuliani is a highly respected man.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ... *Breathe* ... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *starts weezing and realizing I need to do cardio* AHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

I was sure they weren’t gonna release it. It’s weird they did, between the remarks in front of the press and this, that’s all that was needed. What an…