"It was me, Mojo! It was me all along, brah! Woo woo woo!"

The plan was to create a race of people where one of them would write a song called "All Along the Watchtower" and then another one will do a cover of it with some sweet guitar licks added and everyone will love it.

Boy, do I have bad news for you.

…..

His point was that he's an old, stupid, and racist southern house elf.

Most athletes would be considered overweight if you went solely by BMI. It's a junk stat that doesn't tell you anything unless it's paired with some more significant statistics.

I know, right? Why onion rings, when potato skins are so much better?

This is all just a ploy to distract us from her other secret Instagram page, where she posts and rates Jimmy Buffett photos on a 1-10 scale.

Nerds and dorks, mostly.

Well, I'm not, so there's one. I can't vouch for the rest of you, though.

Yeah. The whole disappearance thing happens near one of their oil wells.

A purpose in life?

One where he never seems to age or gain notoriety for all the crazy shit he's done.

Psyduck?

Dammit, of all the times to be skinny.

Y'know, I've seen ads for TruTV shows for months at the train station where the actors are all wearing fancy outfits and laughing and smiling and being goofy, and I still could not tell you anything informative about TruTV. I think it's supposed to be a comedy channel, but who knows.

You seem really pissed off by this news. Did she beat you up or correct one of your MST3K quotes or something?

…Angela Merkel?

It'd be more shocking if she didn't have kind words to say about him. I did like his point about Seller's improvisation, which I honestly never really noticed that much. I guess one of the key reasons why it worked so well is that it went in seamlessly compared to something done by Judd Apatow or Paul Feig.

To be fair, it seems to be a new franchise that is specifically targeting these- what's that? This franchise has been around for decades? And every single one was about killing Nazi assholes? Similar to the ones who are complaining about it now, except the ones in the game aren't idiots?