You are familiar with the carotid artery, yes? Well there you have it...

Both my parents were the good kind of teacher. Both worked an average of 10 hr days for 35 years and were paid for 7.5 hrs, at pay rates that defy belief. They also stood out on strike so i could continue to go to the pediatrician with insurance while the parents of the kids they taught screamed obscenities at them. …

Thank you.

Ah yes, teachers don't have a "real" job. And I suppose you've taught a room full of kids ranging from smart, dumb, homicidally insane, poor and rich anything, ever. What school do your kids go to?

Now i'm thinking of Victory Hop Devil, with that anthropomorphic hop cone glaring at me.

i saw a guy driving a notch fox-body mustang with cage and door bars, cowl hood, M/T frontrunners and what looked like DOT drag tires on it, on the freeway once. he was talking on his cell phone, like it was just a basic day. he was wearing a greasy shop mechanic uniform shirt and was about 19. it was clearly his…

when you see a car pull into the waterbox running about 12 psi in DOT slicks, you should know, you are probably going to lose. Unless you are doing that, too.

who are these morons asleep at the tree (except the mustang guy, who gets a gooood light it looks like)?

jaysus. as someone who reads this to a two year old, my hat is off to you, sir. Who, sir? You sir. You see ...

is that a phone with a CORD?! in 1998? i mean, 2012?

Anyone who has the car "warmed up and ready" when you arrive is probably a liar. The previous owners of my 62 bug did that and STILL needed to tweak the idle speed and mix screws on the carbs (kadrons) once i drove it, got out, and it choked and died within 15 seconds. They explained "it's like that" with dual carbs…

Yes. Our Mazdaspeed 3's center position has insufficient spacing of the latch anchors, so the kid rides on the passenger's side in both that and my shitbox focus. standards my ass. They should have four center anchors (one for left or right side mounting, a more broadly spaced one for center mount) if that's how…

seriously, no one's posted this yet?

you meant Kid Rock.

but can you get a rollback sunroof on a Neon? game over (actually not sure if you can on the 500 abarth, you can in the UK model base, not essesse, though).

as opposed to a ... waistscarf?

yes. yes i do.

I liked how the driver in the right lane continued forward at a steady pace like no fallout from the wreck they'd just seen (maybe they were texting) would carom off in front of them.

Did you know that the C pillar on a 2000 focus hatch can swallow a motorcycle? Fact. I avoided hitting the guy (who was changing lanes quite a lot) by playing "memory" on my mirror checks. Check rearview, bike behind me, check sideview gap to the right, signal, check over shoulder, begin to slide into lane, "hey…

and it STILL has a giant ass that looks like they gave up and went to get a beer. sigh.