“... hit a set of spike strips going 115 MPH, subsequently barreled off of the road and into a drainage ditch, launched the truck into the air and landed on a car parked at a restaurant” 

“Game over, man!” is his most famous line/delivery from Aliens (and deservedly so), but my favorite Paxton line from that movie is when Ripley is yelling at him about how “this little girl survived longer than that by herself!” and he just goes “Well why don’t you put her in charge?!”

RIP. 61 is way too fucking young…

Seriously? How is this post-worthy. How do people own cars and not know what these are.

Yeah especially when they then ask for your opinion on the Camry after as well, which in my case I’d rather not give because I don’t want to tell them their new car is a POS.

When friends and family ask me for advice for what car they should buy. I give them several really good, interesting options. Then, they ignore those choices and end up buying a Camry.

Cost.

There’s no interior like an 80's Mazda interior:

The Mazda Cosmo of the 1980s was notable for offering a choice of a gasoline four-cylinder, a diesel, or a rotary engine. But if you ask me, there’s only one way to go.

I zoomed in on the air freshener,and it’s the “new flooded car smell” one,so he’s good.

That airfreshener is not up to the task.

but muh rally pedigree

I bet they want us to think he intentionally honked the horn and not that it was the first thing to go wrong.

Eh yes and no. OP definitely gets points for at least trying to find the owner of the car. After that, in my eyes, you’re in the clear.

If you try the same thing with a Screaming Chicken, you better duck!

Yep, I want to know everything about my new toy. Immediately.

Yeah, you got me there! Early ‘90's Williams... mmm.

Yeah they did:

Bicycle inner tube is still the best IMHO.