Mueller’s lawyer M. Gabriel McFarland asked Swift whether she was “critical” of her then bodyguard, Greg Dent, for not intervening. Swift responded, “No, I am critical of your client for sticking his hand under my skirt and grabbing my bare ass.”

Leave Ron Johnson alone. His comments may have been affected by the fact that he’s quite stupid and that might have factored in.

Rarely are fun facts fun. This one is!

Heineken is bottled in Holland. This man lives in California. National Geographic for Kids, take it from here.

He didn’t say no when she asked for a raise. He fired her. That’s not normal.

I bet jumping on a trampoline while holding a jade egg in your vagina is amazing for your core.

At least it’ll be fitting to be gunned down by a stranger in full tactical camo gear (who never served in the military) while walking my dog.

While this is awesome, these kind of stories give me pause as to the state of my home and the impression it would give to FBI raiders. Like was I really too tired to throw my clothes in the hamper last night? Would the FBI guys sit around the office post pre-dawn raid and muse “hey did you see tornado’s underpanties…

I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise.

I make $5K a month working from home as a paid bot! No experience required!

False reports like this make me doubt the validity of every other report of British models being kidnapped by Polish gang members.

Sidewalk etiquette? Dude has plenty of room, as mentioned. Also she’s walking on an angle to give him more room. As a frequently disgruntled jogger who wishes the world would put more effort into sidewalk etiquette, I feel pretty confident he just wanted to push a woman in front of a bus.

All of you are wrong. The correct takeaway from this is that ANNA FARIS is now single. I want no part of that mouthbreather, bring me the one they call... House Bunny.

I’m going to hell for laughing at this, but fuck it. I regrettably just went down a #TrippSwag (barf) Insta-rabbit hole, and this shit is funny.

Kidnapper probably realized in the middle of this caper that he loved his curvy wife. Bye-bye, model!

That is literally an over the shoulder boulder holder

it’s two separate deals, I think... Dear God, I think I’m learning to understand his thinking patterns. Taking the refugees in the first place was Australia’s bad deal. Passing them off to America was Obama’s bad deal.

It’s clear from these transcripts that Trump is not only in way over his head but also a terrible negotiator. People aren’t going to just give you what you want because you’re going to look bad if you don’t get it. What a moron.

I almost didn’t see the dots in your sentence and was shocked someone would say F** those children on Jezebel :/